The Bird in my Closet

The Bird in my Closet
August 01, 2001
Being alone isn’t quite the word I would use. No, I wouldn’t consider it alone. I would say more like abandoned. You may be thinking, what’s the difference? You may think I am crazy, a girl such as me writing a dairy? It isn’t normal. I know. There is no need to tell me. My therapist just suggested I start one to release my inner most feelings. Inner most feelings, what the heck is that anyway?
Mr. Crocker thinks that the reasons for my dreams are because I don’t let out my feelings. I say different. I think the reasons for my dreams are because something or someone is trying to tell me something. I don’t have a clue what, but I know that something is trying to get through to me. Well I am not going to waste my brain time thinking about this so let’s speak of other things, such as Riggs. Riggs is my best friend and he is such a loser. Now I know again you’re probably thinking, if he’s a loser then why is he your best friend. I was prepared for that question too.
Riggs is my best friend because he is smart and quite. In other words he doesn’t act like a mother and say, “Lila, you know you aren’t supposed to steal” or “Lila why do you think you go to a therapist?” No he just sits there and lets me do my own thing. I find that very enjoyable. I don’t need a mother figure. I never have. She abandoned me along with my dad at Wal-Mart when I was 7 years old.
That was 7 years ago on the dot. I have been alone ever since, well except for Riggs, but he doesn’t count. Riggs has been with me ever since day one. I found him in the beer isle in Wal-Mart about to snag some beer. He was a year and a half older and had been left alone for 3 years. We just clicked from the start. Who would have thought that a quite young boy such as Riggs would live with unbearable and not to mention big mouthed Lila. Well that’s all I’m writing for today, because heck, I think I’ve written enough.
August 02, 2001
“Hello again,” I say to my stupid journal when I begin to write. I have decided that I will name this journal SJ. SJ shall stand for… I’m going to let you guess. You gave up didn’t you? Well I’ll just tell you, stupid journal. I had another dream last night and was woken by Riggs when he heard me screaming. I can’t remember the exact details of my dream but I will try to remember for you SJ. Here is what I can reencounter:
“Lila, I need you…. Lila!!!!” A woman voice was screaming at me.
“Lila, it’s burning…. Lila!!!!” A child’s voice screamed at me.
“Lila, HELP!!!!” A group of men screamed.
“Stop it Mommy, Stop it!!!” a toddlers squeaky voice squalled.
I swear that my name seems like the scariest thing to me now. After hearing so many screams and cries I can’t stand my name. My biggest fear is having people to rely on me (besides Riggs). The weirdest part of it was those lines kept repeating until we get back to the part where Riggs wakes me up. Well, enough of my dreams, I would now like to talk of my day today.
First Riggs drove me to Mr. Crocker’s office. I showed him my first entry and he seemed surprised I had written anything at all. Well kudos to me. He seemed proud, not like I cared anyway. Then Riggs had to go to the grocery store and buy some more food. He bought asparagus. What is wrong with him? I told him I had made up a new word. That word is doofuisle. It means you’re a stupid person for buying nasty asparagus. Pretty awesome word, huh? Riggs then off to work at the bar on the corner of the street we live on (Mount Western Cowboy St.) and of course that is illegally. That’s about all that happened today.
*Note to self: DO NOT show this SJ entry to Mr. Crocker*
August 03, 2011
No dreams last night, peaceful sleep. I reread yesterday’s entry and realized I never told you what we live in. Well there is no better time than now so I might as well tell you. Riggs and I live in a 4 story mansion and have 16 maids and butlers. You see I also forgot to mention when my parents left me they didn’t just leave me. They left 10,000,000 macaroonies with me. Riggs helped me buy a mansion and pay all the bills until I’m 30. Also everyone that works for us has received a 50 years’ worth pay in advance. Then we ran out of money last year so that is when Riggs got a job. Everything has felt picture perfect since. Well except that I have to see a therapist due to my dreams. That is the only one thing Riggs requires, besides 3 years ago when he begged me to stop stealing. I did. He was very proud. Riggs is like my silent older brother in a way. I love him like a brother too.


This all I have so far. Will add more later. Please rate and review so I know how it is.