A daughter's quest for her father and the shadows that lurk in her path. |
Maybe, Maybe Not I had to ask myself finally, do I yearn for you so much because you are so hard to get or is it because I see the potential that can be reached when I finally get you to myself long enough to tell you that I still need you in my life. Maybe, I’ve been chasing your shadow so long I never even stopped to ask you if your shadow forgot to tell you that I called or that sometimes I trip in the chase of you, and skin my pride, because I know your shadow sees me, but you keep walking away from me and toward whatever commitments your shadow has made for you that you now must fulfill. Don’t get me wrong, had you seen me fall, or heard me call your name, I know you would have been there to lift me up again, to clean my wound, to wipe my tears. That brings me to another question. Would it have been easier had I been able to blame you for being callous, uncaring? Maybe. It's that shadow, you see, that shadow who also forgot to mention that I see him sometimes, hovering behind my husband when he’s had a hard day, when I reach for him, and he's already slipped into his cave and I hear my mother's warnings, tales of seeing her own father's shadow, the one who always worked overtime, but not always at the office. Something about another woman. Or maybe his priorities were just a little skewed. And so I ask another question. Have I followed in my mother’s footsteps without learning, as she eventually did, how to let go of a man who does not wish to be found? Maybe. Maybe not. Or maybe I truly believe that nothing hiding is truly gone. Sometimes, a little light can hide the shadow and enlighten the man hiding behind it. Maybe, its worth a try. |