On the Edge

I Love You.

Those were the exact same words I told her on that one fateful day. The exact same words that I have never said before. The exact same words that have made me leave everything behind all for her. Those were the exact same words now driving me to the edge of this bridge. Why am I doing this? What led me to stand on the edge of my life?

“I’ve liked him for some time now. Do you think he likes me too? You’re his friend maybe you could tell me.” she asked me. When she said those words, it felt like my heart had skipped several beats. I just couldn’t believe what she had said. But I encouraged her anyway.
“Ummm…sure…yeah.” I said.
“You think I should ask him if he likes me too?” she asked.
“Sure…go for it.” I answered.
“Thanks. You’re the best.” she said hugging me at that time.
“No problem.” I said. My face at that time would have told you that I was happy for her but inside I felt like my heart was being ripped apart to shreds.
“Oh I almost forgot. Could I ask you to do me a favor tomorrow?” she requested.
“Sure. What is it?” I asked, my hopes rising a little.
“Could you take him to the school gym after class tomorrow? I’ve got a little surprise for him.” she asked.
“Sure…no problem.” I answered, my hope flattened to the ground.
I could hardly remember anything else that happened that day. The only things I do remember were the words she had said and the pain I had felt after she said them. The next day, I thought that everything was just a dream and that it was all in my head. Then, the phone rang.
“Hello?” I said.
“Hey. It’s me. Don’t forget about the plan for later.” she said.
“How could I not?” I said half-sarcastically.
“Okay. See you later. Bye.” she said then she hung up.
That made my mind race with thoughts. I didn’t want to give her to someone else. I just knew she was gonna get hurt in the end. I couldn’t stand by and see her get hurt by some other guy. She was the most important person to me. She wanted to have someone who would love her and care for her. She wanted to have someone who would protect her and make her happy. But I didn’t want to give her to him. I just couldn’t decide what to do.

That day I wanted time to stop just then. But time just seemed to go faster. I needed find her a way to be happy with someone without her getting hurt. I had to find a way. I just had to. Then the time I was dreading had come.
“Is everything set?” she said to me.
“Yeah it is.” I answered
“Is everyone ready?” she asked.
“Yeah they are.” I answered.
“Okay. Everything’s in place. Now I need you to get him to the gym please.” she instructed. “Oh and can somebody turn off the lights when he gets out.”
As soon as I stepped out, the entire gym went dark. I began my walk to where I knew his last class would be. While I was walking, my thoughts were racing.
“This is it. If I do this, I will lose her forever. If I don’t she’ll hate me forever. I can’t decide. What do I do? It’ll turn out bad no matter what I do. Unless…”
Right then a smile had shown on my face. It was the type of smile that you knew right away that that person was determined. I was determined to make everything right. It was then that I ran back to the gym.
When I got to the gym, everything was quiet. It was dark inside but I knew that a lot of people were inside including the one person that I was looking for. I opened the door and went in. As soon as I stepped inside, two spotlights shone down from above. One was pointed right at me. The other one was in the middle of the gym. She was standing in the middle of the second spotlight. I went straight for her.
“The guy you truly deserve is here.” I said.
“Where is he?” she asked me.
“He’s standing in front of you, talking to you right now.” I said.
“You’re joking.” she said in disbelief.
“No. I’m not. I love you. I always have and I always will.” I said with all the emotion that had built up inside me.
She was speechless.
“Will you let me love you with all my will and give you all I have?” I said.
She still had not spoken. Tears began to well up in her eyes. Then she ran. She ran away from me. I blew it. I just blew it. I lost my best friend all because of me and my stupid heart.

And so here I am, on the edge of this bridge, ready to end it all. All the sorrow. All the loneliness. All the suffering. Now I say my final goodbyes.
“Wait! Don’t jump!”
I turned around and saw her standing there with tears in her eyes.
“I’m going to jump! If I’m gone, no one is gonna stop you from being with him!” I shouted back.
“But I don’t want to be with him. I want to be with you.” she said, making me stop.
“But you ran away after I told you everything.” I said.
“I did but that was because I was shocked.” she said, coming closer. “Afterwards, I realized that I didn’t really like him. I realized that you were always there for me when I needed you. I realized that you’re the one I really loved.” she said.
“Really?” I asked.
“Really.” she answered with a smile.
I couldn’t help but let the tears fall at that moment. I started to get of the ledge but a strong wind blew at that time. I lost my balance. The last thing I saw before I fell was her horror-stricken face.

Was it supposed to end this way? My stupidity being my death? While I thought these thoughts to prepare for the impact, I said my final words.

“I Love You.”