The Problem with "The Golden Rule"

Every book, video, document and speech on social interaction quotes "The Golden Rule" as the sole source of conduct for making and keeping friends. "Treat others as you would have them treat you." A common secondary is "think before you speak" and "don't say anything you would not say to the person's face". All three of these "rules of etiquette" have one major flaw: Not everyone wants to be treated the same way!

This is, in a nutshell, my biggest problem in life. When I do treat others the way I want them to treat me, having doors slammed in my face, having phones hung up and being "de-friended" are the inevitable results. Is this because I did not apply "The Golden Rule"? Nope. That is exactly the way I wish people would talk to me. Is it because I didn't think before I spoke? Nope. It's because I think too much. Is it because I said what I wouldn't say to their face? Nope. It's because I did say it to their face.

The problem is my brain. My brain does not operate the way other people's brains do. My brain is "left-handed" or "color-blind" or something along those lines. I am Simon Cowell in a Paula world. I prefer brutal full-truths to softened half-truths. I prefer to be told to my face that I am obnoxious than to have it said to someone else, or worse, just not said at all. I prefer to be told "we're no longer friends" than to wonder why my calls are not being returned.

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend"? More often my enemies are the closest things to friends I've got. At least they are quite honest about where they stand. I have more respect for China than for the democratic party in America. At least they are quite honest about not letting people keep what they earned. There is no pretention of democracy. They are socialists, and they admit it. Better an enemy, I say. They may be trying to kill you, but at least you know to wear a bullet-proof vest.

Ayn Rand's followers are called every name in the book, frequently by ourselves. We are selfish egoists, and we admit it openly. But is there anything wrong with being so? We are, after all, following "The Golden Rule". We are treating others exactly the way we want them to treat us. We are thinking long and hard before we speak, and we are certainly not saying anything about anyone that we don't say to their face. So why does everyone hate us so much?