FORBIDDEN TEMPTATION

Writer’s note: This one is actually an appendage of my (near-finished) epic tale since I seldom write independent poems. Well, you cannot just pluck inspiration out of the weeds in the yard so it is really hard for me to conjure one when I don’t really feel like it. Sometimes I have to borrow someone’s emotion to create one. This type is not actually me genre but I quite enjoyed writing it especially because I am really fond of this particular character mine. (So blame this guy if it turned out to be so cloying. I never expect him to make me write this.) Although this is supposed to be read somewhere in the latter part of the (45-ongoing chapters) novella, I decided to post this one (not considering that the story seems like a year-long to write) because I think it would be fun if some passages appear incomprehensible without the story as a reference. It might be good if the poem itself be veiled with enigma. (Or perhaps, I’m just too idle to type) I will give it my best to display the story. Anyways, a brief description followed. 


Background to the poem: Alexandros is actually an invincible Wizard who bears the Curse of Immortality. He is known to be the strongest Hunter of the Order under the official name of Helios—The Jack of Diamonds. His real motive is to find the heir of the wizard who alone can lift the curse. Imagine living eternally, un-aging although he is not invulnerable to pain and suffering. He never has any goal except to find his doom. He was feared by men, chased by women, well, except for two. He shut himself to everyone until someone knocked and went straight through. Ignorant of the walls he created. And that was when he was asked to train the Order’s newest Hunter.

The song of Alexandros:

FORBIDDEN TEMPTATION




I always wanted to tell this to you,
But I never did, I never can.
I’m always tempted to say this to you,
But I never did, as if forbidden.


But now is different
This life is doomed
Nothing more can be done
If I don’t speak, then it will never be spoken
If I refused, then it will be refused forever.


You brought dawn in my eternal nights
An eastern sun of embracing warmth
Steering those thousand years to a delightful sound
The real value of life, like a sapphire found
Here and then, I chased death
Just to find life at its tail.


You were sent to a strange land
Much to my marvel, you formed a most delicate bond
A foreigner in your true home
Your world moves, flows, ardent
Unlike mine, still, dull and barren
Then once again it turned
On the same day you came.


Once you put my bandages
Yes, it tarnished my name
As the invincible Hunter of the Order
My protest mute in my tongue
Then at that moment, you made me dumb.


Once you put my bandages
An indignant frown curved your face
The tormenting cold demeanor
You said it’s your job and left.


I wanted to hold you back
Who cares about such paltry wounds?
Inflicted by my usual carelessness
Who cares about yards of bandages?
This body was dead, moving in curse.
I mind the one who put them on
The one for whose cause I tread upon
If you just stayed, I would have been better.


I really wished you did
But the courage to ask vanished
Scarlet fury dwelled in you
I went by myself and spared you.


It is not a question of trust
It is a matter of safety
But I went home dripping in blood
Such a trifling casualty
Incinerated through this flesh
I never gave even a yelp.


All I did is to expect you laugh
Yet your feet hustled in a rush
Your fingers cold and trembling in my cheeks
Your austere eyes scornful as they chastised
But the pleasant touch, welcoming and nestling
Warm and gentle as it always been.


Like the moon of its unfading glamour
Its light shines in full splendour
Rays of hope I thought had shattered
Yet before my eyes spark its dazzling lustre
How could the song of Muses contend
before your peerless comfort can defend?


The chagrin in your grimace,
sank me the abysmal pit of disgrace
My gaze wondered in every corner
But a single glimpse of you is nowhere
Your silence echoed loudly
A hollow sigh occurred to me
I dream I hear a tone of gaiety
And then, how very unlikely.


You drew to me closer
Reached up for my face down my neck
Probed for a deep fresh wound
And dabbed the proper ointment.


You brushed the silver wisp of hair
Scrupulously, unrelenting, you peered over
Your gentle features carved in stone
Words struggled in my throat moaned
You captured my breath in its delicate tone.
You treat me no more than your brother
Our distance left me in desperation
To resist a forbidden temptation…


Then I found myself in daze
My eyes throbbed in its festive gaze.
My heart caged in my breast
Knocked painfully on my chest
Then you brought me the desolation
To resist a forbidden temptation…


You never care to know
You never care to notice
You never care to hear
An undeniable tendency anyone can seer
Drifted to me as a misty cloud of crystal clear.


I would be fine having none of these
Medicines have no use to me
Neither provisions nor sleep
Nothing is necessary.
I never ask for any.


Then such words of stark temerity
Alarmed you with insolent audacity
Your dull eyes blank with expression
Spoke to me in a tinge of derision
Am I to head death with all my eagerness?
I should have told her earlier, she says.
That she may stop this nonsense.


Finally, she settled and stood before me.
Those sapphire irises glinted menacingly
My tongue fumbled for the perfect word
Nothing came out forged.
Lies are of no good to her
As she is no good to them.
Conversing as you would to a dumb puppet
My howling voice locked and shackled.


The freezing cold stare, fierce and piercing
Darted through and shot across like your voice unwavering
Yes, these wounds you healed
Yet replaced but a ton of incurable ill
I cannot look at you
What a shameful thing to do
But then I never expect you
To move my eyes and gaze at you.


Those arched fingers at my chin
Intolerant and cruel as they seem
Raised my head gently
Played me at your whim
Your warmth and touch, all unforgiving.


My speed is the best
Than any Hunter can manifest
My reflexes stay unrivaled, unequaled
Yet before you I am like a child.
Crazed with fear, unable to run.


Bound and gagged as I am
Its violent claws tugged, yes, the dainty air
O well, fair young Sorceress
I knew you never meant anything
But at this distance, the cruel compulsion
O, I abhor to resist the forbidden temptation…


The silver plate of light outside shone
A trifle delicacy than your finest owned
Trapped within your enticing scent
Veiled through me like intricate drapes
The swirling breeze of windows opened
Turned my cheek flushed red.


Your merciless gaze never falter
The sheer conviction demanding an answer
You never knew how deteriorating it feels
The abomination of resisting
You want me to swear an oath
That for a mission intended for us both
Shall never be carried by one or another
Then at this clause, you leaned on closer.


That alluring distance
Boiled my blood
The unreachable wonderland
Of having you in my arms
Perhaps the wistful dream is now.


The scent of sweet fragrances
Your cold tormenting gaze
The searing scorching grimace
The playful fingers at my chin
Prickly sensation in my skin
All suddenly released me
Impatient sigh flitted in the wind
As you stand up and leave.


These dull senses ignited with life
My mind pulsed its usual sound
Then at that moment,
These frozen arms reached
And caught you by the wrist.


I knew how wrong I am
I knew how weary you are
I should have cared myself
But what standard of perfection
Would tell you’re wrong
When it feels so right?


The last stream of that young dainty air
Now turned into a wild raging gale
The disdainful reprimanding look
The opposition which your hand shook
The malady of your mocking delight
Such mournful sight
Sorrowfully added my plight
Immediately, you left.


How horrible this resplendent night had become
My wistful dream sang a forbidden psalm
Not to be uttered. Not to be spoken.
Turned to a wretched nightmare; all gone.


It was then a familiar voice rang in my head
A shred of light on me was spared
Like a melodious note wafted on my ear
A scented breeze washed my fear
And wake me up to a new world
Just to find the same face
Curious and candid
Yes, with the same roll of bandages!


Wretched was the dream I ought to find,
While the enchanted reality came and sang
The eternal voice sacred of the moon priestess
The sublime mirth glowed on your face
Lulled my senses to a rare deep bliss
A dying Wizard had long been missed.


Yes, the whimsical Sorceress in Nexus’ Tower
That one of questionable identity
She, who knew a lot about me,
Finally I remember now
She, who inherited ‘his’ legacy,
No more than the Heiress of Rutherford


I never thought this inexhaustible time
Would be spent for an expensive life
Searching for you, I have long been
For you, O yes, ever since
Then my goal became The Ace of Aces
Just to end up with the same Enchantress…
This immortality would soon leave me
And Hades shall chain my soul in his agony
Hail to the most blessed curse, cruel and heavenly
Your spell refused to release me
But then, I’m glad it did
For who would want to leave this earth,
Now it gained its meaning?


Finally, my end has been written
The time has reached my hour.
All in me shall be broken now.
My memories. My vow—
To stay with you ‘til my last
Has long been over now.
I shall forever depart your side
If by the Law of Magicians I am to abide.


The time I spent with you
Was the best of my endless life
From now on, you will be
the last remaining Magician alive.


A Lunar Sorceress of Rutherford,
The Queen of Spades
The Ace of Aces
My friend and comrade,
But most of all, my beloved
Yes, my beloved, dear Hazciel.


I always wanted to tell this to you,
But I never did, I never can.
I’m always tempted to say this to you,
But I never did, as if forbidden.