a deliberate atempt at heinous activitie

Protruding from a rusty sewer pipe , fun and happiness are released. They come Swirling from the foothills of far-away mountains , shot through miles of iron tunnel to a loose mound of dirt overhanging a moat like ditch . A man sits nearby in a small copper shack. Relentlessly pacing around, back and forth, side to side…He has a single lever that controls the flow of water . He does not know that this sewer pipe is the source of all things happy and fun on Earth. He believes waste water and occasional large rats come down the pipe. This is true also. It is also true that before he worked in the iron shack, he once was a big shot. He attended galas with movie stars, drank with rockers, and often lit 1$ bills to light a 5$ then a 10$ then a 20$ before a 100$ bill was finally lit , (by a Swedish man-servant named Phil) and Phil would then light a fine Cuban cigar with the 100$ bill exquisitely before ceremoniously presenting the cigar . This little trick would always cause quite a bit of excitement at the parties, and all the ladies dressed in white polar-bear & Dalmatian fur jackets would raise a pink crystal highball ( pinky pompously extended) in extravagant honor of a surely extravagant manner of lighting a cigar. However, when the man had his daughter married to a rich Texas oil Baron. He soon had his famous falling from grace. A booze filled orgy of sinister nature began! Rumors have abounded of shamelessly decadent escapades presented by anynonmous reports, made uo for this story….



The baron was a coarse, fat man who drank whiskey straight, and whooped loudly anytime said his name. His name was David Philter. When a stranger ( nobody close to him or evenly remotely in the know would never speak his name to avoid this precise action) would say “ excuse me are you David philter the Texas oil baron”? David would throw off his ten-gallon cowboy hat up into the air( circumstances allowing he would pop 3-4 bullets into it from his genuine ancient Colt “ peacemaker handgun) while yelling “ Hot-Diggity-dog-David-Dis-me!!YYYYYeeeeHHHHHAWWWW!!! ( and occasionally BANG BANG BANG) . And yes David philter was a annoyingly fond of alliteration. So getting back, the man in the shack who had lost so much; lost it all due to this man. Well not exactly directly due to David philter , but quite indirectly!

{ a recored accounnt of the ensuing feud between the ba& his father in law....( anynomous source)}

“Certain indescretintions were presumably advanced. Many indescretions were to proceed . Evolving into a simply nasty level of “ suspicious “ & “ diabolic “ incidents. illusions and mirror gags abounded, we were convinced man . Yea, they were put on from afar by vast legions in the dark, underworld –Foreign-radical-shithead types . Spontaneous involvement on a global scale, broadened skillful players. Vast targets soon acquired a heavy arsenal for many who got suspicious. Things grew hot , things got hairy. Suddenly all hell breaks loose at the HQ“. Shit! The riders of the apocalypse was coming by god! Mortars , artillery, super soakers . They had us pinned down. And that’s when the godamn digital shit came into play! Talk about the network capabilities now?!”

{ ….Interview over….}





You may be asking yourself, well, a lot of things I suppose. And that is fine by me. But in regards to the previous paragraphs a logical question may be…..” why is there a sewer pipe that emits all pleasantries on Earth”? And indeed this is a fine question. It is however, a bit dicey for me to try and reconstruct the narrative. Let me brood for a moment…..







The history of the sewer pipe



3 Million years ago a strange race of aliens ( unpronounceable or invisionable unless you can interpret 8th dimension…) landed on Earth . They cameand acted as bored yuppie tourists do on our planet. They dressed in silly attire and were constantly flitting from one bore to the next. So on a pleasure holiday 3 million years ago one of the more dapper of the aliens, took a pit stop on Earth, I.E. defecation. Of course the alien was courteous and buried it beneath vast mountains. The alien simply lifted the Appalachian Mt. chain up briefly to deposit vast pink slugs of alien poo underneath. Which is just what happens to be the source of the long before mentioned pipe gushing human waste and copious amounts of happy & fun. .





Inside the shed

:



The lever turns slowly, creaking The water shirks off . The squeal echoes shrilly inside the copper ridged walls. The man inside the shack is standing , shaking. His deep blue eyes and tattered blue sailors suit are gleaming against the setting sun , behind the pipe. Glowering pink-to-violet-red-crimson eyes now close. The sun dips down behind a row of chestnut trees. The wind picks up, throwing bundles of dead summer leaves into complex little patterns of movement. Dancing slightly in a constant promenade with the sky. They rise and fall like curtsying dresses of happy women. A frosty chill stills the air. Coyotes howl faintly to the east, communicating a forgotten language .The moon has come up. It is gleaming diamond white. Bearing forlorn shadows of the chestnut trees towards the mans shack. As if trying to devour his very existence. A last drop falls from the sewer –pipe. It glitters into a million refractions in the night air. Dropping out of sight from any eyes. Obscurely it runs down a rock in the ditch below, and dissolves into the abyss. This man has long lost his ability to turn the tap back on, will you?