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Rated: E · Editorial · Comedy · #1876404
A little essay on continuously losing my personal race with the clock.
Time, according to Webster's primary definition, is a "continuous, measurable quantity in which events occur in apparently irreversible order."  I submit that time did not originate as a measurable quantity; it was instead a free-flowing continuous entity, much less formidable than in its present state.

Man, in his infinite wisdom, chose to lasso this unconstrained flux into tangible units of measure. Carefully calculating and analyzing -- although I would question the accuracy as is evidenced by the necessity of the leap year --- the astronomers of yesteryear, devised time, as we know it today on the theory that it would create a semblance of order for the universal good of mankind. A theory which has proven false for me.  Time continually remains unmanageable in my life.  I am resentful of time. I am resentful of those who manage time well.  I am most resentful of those who insist on suggesting ways that I should be spending my time.

Everywhere I turn, some expert is expounding his or her proposal on the use of my time.  My dentist has absolute guidelines regarding the amount of time that I should spend each day brushing, flossing and irrigating. My doctor demands that I make time on a daily basis for exercise and nutritious meal planning. They both would like me to be on time for my appointments. Relationship experts express their heartfelt concerns about my spending quality time with my loved ones. Clergy preach the necessity of time spent in prayer and meditation from their pulpits. Employers insist that I surrender eight hours of my day to them and then demand punctuality on top of it.  Teachers assign papers with due dates. Psychologists recommend that I balance my time between responsibilities and relaxation.  They strongly suggest that I set aside time for self-discovery by encouraging my participation in everything from inner child work to anger management therapy.

For me, this measurement of time has become a measurement of my inadequacy. In my race against the clock, I find myself losing more often than not. I know that the answer lies in my surrender to the fact that, like it or not, I exist in a world where time is measured and that learning how to better manage it would prove beneficial to me.

There is a certain comfort in the realization that I am not alone in this battle with time management, evidenced in the many experts who are eager to help with this endeavor.  Now... I need only to find the time to attend one of their workshops.
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