I've Got Friends in Low Places

John was in his sitting room in Dublin when an item came on the news about Toronto. Boring! he thought to hiself, as he turned off the TV. He stood up to leave the room and make himself some tea.

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a silver beard walking up his driveway. He looked like a throwback to the wild west. His beard was actually silver - not just grey. I wonder what he wants? John thought, suspiciously.

John opened the door when the man knocked and brought him into the kitchen. He offered the man a cup of tea - not wishing to appear inhospitable. The old guy revealed that his name was Bruce and that he was a dinosaur smuggler. Uh oh, the dingbat's as mad as a March hare, mused John, nodding politely and sipping his tea, not wanting to seem rude.

John offered Bruce some brie from the fridge. He hoped it wasn't out of date. He never touched the stuff himself, his cheating wife had left it behind her when she ran off on him with the owner of the local newsagent a fortnight ago. Evil witch. She and that git deserved one another.

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