Putting Down My Gun

I’ve struggled many times I know,
Take a chance each place I go.
I run for my life,
Though filled with strife,
Determined they won’t win,
I have family that wants to see me again.
They told me to run,
So I bought a gun
Protecting those I love,
Saying a prayer to the Lord Above.
Help me to get away,
Make everything okay.
Trying hard to be a man,
Giving my family all I can.
Choosing them instead,
Of a life that will leave me dead.
Running isn’t a choice,
Refusing to hear the voice.
Inside my head,
I should have fled,
Thinking of those who care.
Should have been more aware.
Looking forward instead of back,
Ignoring those talking smack.
The gun I hold in my hands,
Initiates demand,.
That I stand up for me,
Don’t let them see.
The faces that I hide,
Now become my guide.
Refusing to die,
Not listening to their lies!
Knowing I can succeed,
They won’t make me bleed.
Crying inside my mind,
For those I’ve left behind.
Changing my life for my son,
They’ll know they haven’t won.
Because I am still alive,
I know that I will thrive.
That life I know is done,
Finally, putting down my gun.

Unfortunately the boy that I wrote this for died in November of 2010. It broke my heart, and still rips me apart to this day. I loved this boy! His name was Travion and although he may have done some things that were not good, his heart was one of the best I've ever known. I post this in honor of the memory of the boy I knew, and the young man who died on the cold hard streets of St. Louis, Missouri. Gone way too soon, and with a desire to be a better man than he was! I can only hope that he knew how much he was loved and how much he impacted my life. He left footprints on my soul!