Roses are Red (except when they're dead

My Advice on sending flowers this Valentine’s Day (and a free bonus poem)

If your wife works hard in an office all day like mine does, you really should send her flowers on Valentine’s Day to let her know she’s appreciated. And to reward your gargantuan effort, the least she should do is make them last as long as possible. That’s why I wrote this little poem. (Feel free to use it. Women love poetry)

Roses are Red (except when they're dead)


Roses are red,
and these ones are for you.
If you take care of them
they should last a week or two,
so be sure to give them water,
and check them every day.
Trim an inch from every stem,
and they like a misting spray.

Be sure to add that little pack
of powder by the card.
It’s supposed to keep them fresher.
Now that shouldn’t be too hard.
Oh, and keep them from the window.
Direct sun is bad I’m told.
Set your thermostat at 60.
Wear a sweater if you’re cold.

And you should get some bluer lights;
Sylvania 60 watt.
Your office lights are yellow.
New ones shouldn’t cost a lot.
There’s a ladder in the closet,
by the bottom of the stairs.
Remember that florescent lights,
should be changed in pairs.

You could screw up the ballast
if you change out only one,
and changing out a ballast
will not be cheap or fun.
Your roses will to do better,
and look better in this light,
but it all will be for nothing,
if you don’t turn them off at night.

The biological clock
that still ticks in every bloom
must not be disturbed,
for that would be your roses doom.
Now if you follow these instructions
to prolong your flowers life
when your co-workers see them
they’ll think, What a lucky wife!