Can’t Be Proud

-Can’t Be Proud-
by
Keaton Foster



Can’t be proud
Without a sound
No words spoken
With everything to say
But be assured
Much about nothing
Who is listening
Not a single soul
As always I am alone
A prisoner within his home
I cannot go outside
Because I find everything
Most of all every other person
Immensely frightening
Deep within my mind
Deep within my chest
Lives
An undiagnosed condition
Hidden by a diagnosed predication
Taking drugs cuts down the edge
Makes a life once impossible
A livable disaster of possibilities
Each day when I wake up
I look in the mirror
And say, I can do this
But just as quick I fail
Just as quick I realize
That I can do nothing at all
I climb back into my hole
I hide from the reality of life
I refuse all chances at normalcy
For what I am comfortable with
For what I truly understand
These words are as close as I can get
They are my fight against myself
A battle that I am winning
Within a war that I am losing
Can’t be proud
Because I’ve done nothing right
And everything completely wrong
I would feel sorry for myself
If I was capable of such a feeling
But an ever increasing emotionless void
Floods my chest and lessons my senses
This particular day is about to end
A new one will start next
The same will happen again and again
I will wake up ready to face the world
But I will only face myself in the mirror
I am too afraid of what is beyond
The reflection that I am comfortable with
Such a fear will always keep me here
Such a fear is more real than anything else…


Can’t Be Proud
Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2013