American Family Values

American Family Values

There is a great deal of debate surrounding the concept of family values in America today. Our family structures have evolved from traditions that are pretty much new, as well as some traditions that we acquired in the distant past from all over the world. But those traditions are meaningless without a relationship based in love and respect. Isn’t it the love that matters most in a family? If a person in a family is abusive or selfish, the family unit pays the price. When there is no love in the family, everyone connected to it suffers. The suffering spills over into the communities and can harm our nation as a whole.

The greatest voice of family values today is coming from America’s Christian groups. Without a doubt, many American Christian groups are threatened by gay marriages. Yes there is an obvious contradiction in any self proclaimed Christian standing before God and man and openly condemning their brothers and sisters. Jesus taught us all how to love, so it is no wonder why we associate Jesus with what we need from each other.

I grew up in America white, Christian, and middleclass. My family looked like something in a Norman Rockwell painting. At Thanksgiving dinner, my family, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins would get together, and say grace and eat a typical turkey feast. We would all spend time catching up and enjoying the company of each other. After every one of these events, I would be left with warm memories of the time we shared. Like the warmth captured in a Norman Rockwell painting, I would remember it all with a strong emotional connection. In my mind it was perfect; everyone was smiling and happy. To me, this is the family structure that many Christians refer to as God’s design. I’ve even herd it called God’s law.

Like majority of white, Christian, middleclass Americans, I grew up reading the Bible. I read the Old Testament with the New, and was told in many ways how it all related together. It wasn’t until I read the content carefully on my own, that I realized the virtues of it all outside of the usual institutional interpretations.

In the Old Testament, the virtues are discovered out of the long suffering of a people. Then Jesus arrived. He taught the virtues of love to free the people from their suffering. This is the suffering people place on themselves through their own practices. The teachings of Jesus are called the New Testament. It is a New Testament because there was no more need to suffer like in the old lessons.

If you’d ask any Christian to state what God’s law is on gay marriage, they may open up Leviticus in the Old Testament. In Leviticus, Moses is commanded by God to create laws to control his people. The brutal nature and strict ritualistic devotion of the laws found in Leviticus have often confounded Christians when comparing them to the Gospel teachings of Jesus. That is because those laws were made before the lessons of love were learned.

If we were to live the laws of Moses, we would literally be killing each other in the city streets. It a bit hypocritical to execute a disobedient wife, child, or gay while all along the first rule is “thou shall not kill”. Most of the laws in Leviticus are so inhumane that no people should be oppressed by them. It’s even too brutal for the Taliban to practice. So why glorify it? If we are to adopt any aspect of those laws like gay love is an outrage to God, and to put it into our laws now, well then shouldn’t we also adopt the same punishment for being gay, or promiscuous, or disobedient?

What is so frightening about gays that there needs to be a war declared on them? What is the threat? If they aren’t hurting me, then why should I care?

Marriage can be a joining out of love, but it is not love. It is a contract that entangles wealth and social status with the customary family structure. Marriages are often missing love. If the love is gone from a marriage, the couple is still bound by contract and through material wealth and social status. Marriage does not mean that a man and a woman that are good examples for teaching and raising children. We all know that love is needed in the home to raises a child to become a good person. Love means people care about each others’ feelings and are working to meet each others’ needs. Without love and respect, all relationships turn ugly.

To follow Christ, one must become Christ-like and live by the gospels. Jesus taught us we are all brothers and sisters in life; that loving the people around you will make your life happier. Love makes the world a better place and brings us all closer to God. Love lifts the spirits of all people, even Atheists. All life forms respond to their needs being met. When our needs are met and people care, our suffering disappears and we find ourselves advancing towards life’s greatest fulfillment.

Out of all of Norman Rockwell paintings, my favorite is called “The Golden Rule”. It is an image projecting all of world’s faiths and peoples standing shoulder to shoulder as one. The Golden Rule is a concept that comes out of every culture. Psychologically speaking, it neutralizes the ego of a person when they think of others as they think of themselves. Without the selfishness that corrupts moral codes and logic, people are then freed; freed to evolve without restriction, just like all life desires.

Through the using the Golden Rule, we can expect humanities full potential to blossom. It is the greatest realization of God’s law as it is easy to understand, follow, and consequently it reciprocates the love we all need. The Golden Rule is not explained in Leviticus the way Jesus explains it in the gospels. It is love. It is the path.

Jesus, like many other great minds, wanted all people to learn the path of love. So shouldn’t we encourage love in all its forms? Because there is no way to predict tomorrow’s outcome, we should be cautious in our actions right now. Our future depends on our love.