I'm Always

I’ve always dreamed
Of living inside the stars,
Existing as a part of a muse,
A movement
Towards that inevitable something,
Everything, to happen.
A small token of reception,
This inception of belonging
To a much more monumental, me.

But every time my voice joins the crowd,
I know I’m closer.
These words that were not
Ever written for me.
The melodies that were not created
To orchestrate my soul.
But, like so many selfish nights,
I look up and claim them as my own.

I scream like I’ve sung.
I dance like I’ve lived.
I cry like I’ve laughed.
I love
Like I’ve deserved.
My chest burning, arms raised.
My throat raw, voice lost.
Eyes longing, full of belonging.
Fingers inching and itching
Towards that edge
Of oblivion.

I can’t hear through the scream,
I can’t see through the sweat,
I can’t feel through the press of the crowd,
But I know exactly where I am.
I am free.

The words soothe my core,
The wet grotto of echoing cries
I thought I’d forgotten about.
The bass beats reset my heart,
I remember how it was supposed to sound.
As all other noises fade into each other,
Through the feedback I can hear
That whisper, a promise
Of now,
Of forever.
Then and later evaporate.
I evaporate.
Spread me among the sky,
I can reach now.