Unbeknownst to Him - Damian and Ava

What was his purpose? Why was it so important? It had been years and yet here he was going to great lengths to find...her. I thought.

He claimed to be devoted to me. Why can't he just let her go?
         
It's the past. Obviously it didn't work out. Did he believe, maybe, there was still something between them? Does that even happen in real life? And why is it a big secret? Why was looking for her such a big fucking secret? Wasn't our relationship good enough? Not only was he looking for her, he was looking for others as well. I can't even rationalize it no matter how hard I try. He searches for all these women. Why? Wasn't I good enough? Was I lacking in some way?
         
I can't imagine going back to look for my past lovers. Although, most had been gone from this world for so long, I have forgotten what they looked like, how they smelled and what their voices sounded like. Even if they were alive today, I couldn't bring myself to go out of my way to look for them.

If it wasn't meant to be then, it's not meant to be now, I always say.

I know at times I can be a little crazy, but that's because I love him and the mere thought of losing him would bring me to my knees and I'd ask the heavens to rid me of this wretched place. What was life without him?

Damian couldn't be all the more clueless of what he was doing to me. He claims I'm all there is, I'm all he wants. Yet, here I was, staring at her picture. His lover from centuries ago. She was still alive. Still single even after all this time. What was it she had I didn't? Again, she wasn't the only one. There were so many others.

"Who the fuck were these women?" I whispered. Thankfully, I was alone. Damian was in another room. Too busy to care what I was doing.

I wasn't sure how I would confront him, if I should at all. I'm not bad at confrontation, but he was a smart lad. Always one step ahead, willing and ready to lie to my face. I'm a little fickle when it come to him. One minute I want to drain him of every ounce of blood, bury him and leave him to rot, sentencing him to an eternity of starvation. Although, I didn't have the heart to do that because I'd have to live without him. Again, I'm absolutely fickle where he is concerned.

Was it even worth it? I thought. Should I convince myself that it's all okay when really it's not. I always thought I overreacted. How can I not? Especially when he doesn't tell me anything. His life is a big fat fucking mystery.

As I continued to stare at these beauty queens, the more insecure I became. I wasn't known for being insecure, but for some reason, this woman made me scream insecurity. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, not because I had a headache but because I was completely out of my element. I was never in a situation like this. I never had a problem with men. At least not like this. What was worse, it was all done through technology.

Oh, how I miss the days when there was no such thing as computers, emails and cell phones. I thought as I continued to rub my head.

Opening my eyes, I looked at the beauties again. I didn't look anything like them. They were flawless. Not a single blemish. Not a single wrinkle. Then again, when I was turned I hadn't been flawless and wrinkle-free. Age and children can take a massive toll on a women. Sure, now they have plastic surgeons but they didn't have those back when my children were born. They didn't even exist until centuries later.

There was definitely a reason he was looking for them. The one or ones who 'got away' as the saying goes. Made me sick to my stomach that some people believed in such bullshit.

After gazing and taking in all I could about these women, I'd had enough. I slammed his laptop closed and got up. The fire burning deep within my core. I wanted to burn our entire relationship to the ground.
         
I hastily walked into the living room where he lay on the couch watching television. I stopped right behind the couch and glared down at him.

Look at him laying there. As if he's done nothing wrong.
         
He looked so innocent, completely oblivious to my emotions vibrating off me. I could feel his calm, relaxing mood. He was in la la land with whatever show he was watching, he didn't even acknowledge my presence.
         
I just stood there, giving him the stink eye. What I wouldn't give to punch his lights out right now. But then he let out a roaring laugh, thundering throughout the room. My flames became a flicker of a fire soon to be distinguished. His laugh had always warmed my heart.

I sighed loudly and deeply, rolling my eyes. He looked up at me. "Hey babe. You okay?" The laughter hadn't left his eyes when he asked, but the longer he looked at me, waiting for a response, the laughter slowly left his eyes, replaced with concern. He sat up and patted the seat next to him.

I made no attempt to move. I was glued to my spot behind the couch.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

I just stared at him. I wasn't sure if I wanted to address my findings.

"Babe, hey, you okay?" He rose from the couch to stand in front of me. He placed his hands on my arms but I recoiled and stepped away from his grip.

"Ava?" Putting his hands down at his side. His face dropped.  I sensed his confusion and hurt. In all the years we'd been together, I had never recoiled from him.

Oh poor baby got his feelings hurt. I thought. I refrained from making a puppy dog face to reflect that thought. 

I had to wait. I convinced myself. I needed to wait. I needed more information. I couldn't confront him until I had all the evidence in hand. I started to feel really warm. The heat of my anger, the fire within me, was about to surface, which for him, was not good.

"I need to get some air," I said briskly leaving the room. If I hadn't left, I knew what would happen next.

"Ava?" he called after me, but he didn't follow. He knew better. He learned his lesson from the last time he followed me when I was angry. I could sense his frustration. And he, now, acknowledged my flaming energy. He knew if I didn't get away I would literally set the place on fire. My energy came in many different forms depending on my moods.

Leaving him staring and calling after me, I walked out onto the patio, stripped off my clothes and jumped into the Olympic size swimming pool. As I swam, I began to cool. The water remained at a chilly fifty-five degrees. It felt wonderful against my heated flesh.

When I felt I had cooled down enough, I got out and laid naked on the big long lounge chair. I looked up at the sky and when I saw a full moon, I closed my eyes and let the rays soak into me. It was so serene. So calming. I cleared my head. Wiped out all the images, all the voices and all the negative feelings.

After a few moments a silence, I made a choice. With the flick of my hand, my cell phone scrambled out and up from the pocket of my jacket. Another useful gift I had. I loved it. Without opening my eyes, I put the phone to my ear.

"Call Charles," I said. Promptly it placed the call.

After four rings, he answered, "Hello there lass." He was cheerful like usual when I would call him. His heavy Scottish accent was just that, heavy and thick. If I hadn't known him for so long, I wouldn't have understood him. And usually hearing his voice would bring a smile to my face but tonight, it wasn't about being friendly, it was about business.

"Charles, I need a favor," not greeting him as nicely as I should have.

"Anything my dear. What can I do for you?" He said without losing that cheerful tone.

I gave him a brief rundown of my discovery, all without opening my eyes and  continuing to soak in the rays. Calmly, I said, "I need you to find out who she is. I need a tail on him please. I need whatever you can offer."

After listening to my story and demand, without hesitation or questions, he agreed. His men would be here in a matter of moments. They would tail him and monitor all his activities. Why I hadn't thought of this before was beyond me. All I knew, he was going to get what he deserved, one way or another, he was either going to feel my wrath or Charles' men's hefty fists or mastered swordsmen.

"End," I said once Charles and I finished conversing. I put my phone down beside me and continued to enjoy the serene atmosphere.