Hard Truth

He looked me straight in the eye. His breath filled my nostrils, musky smell of black bread and onions. I was mesmerized, and he knew the power he held over me.

“The problem with every man, woman and child is that they all want the same thing, yet they know not how to find it for themselves. The goal of the quest is hidden, not by the lay of the land, but by the barriers within the mind.”

I looked upon him with trepidation. “And you have found this secret, this goal that we are all looking for?”

“Yes!” He turned, jumped up on the half wall that he was moments ago leaning against, and wiggled his finger in the air above his head. Slowly, his finger descended, halting a mere inch from the tip of my nose. “However, I can not point you in the direction of the answer you seek.”

My face ran flush, ears and chin twitching as my arms flew from my side, almost knocking over the topiary placed in the corner beside me. “Why the bloody heck not?!?!”

“Because! The goal may be the same, but the prize is always different.” He descended again, landing himself upon the half wall, eyes never ceding their lock on mine. “I can no more help you with your search than you can help me with mine. For the goal is not a physical object, but rather the physical manifestation of the metaphysical force that drives the human heart. It is only when you find what makes YOU happy, that you have found your goal.”

I stared at him in disbelief. Blood rushed through my veins. My hands drew up into clammy, clenched balls of protruding white knuckles. As my breathing grew deeper, I whipped myself around. Facing the wall, I began to recognize that my arms, and then my legs, and soon my whole body was shaking.

I knew my target, and it was me.

In that moment, I realized that I had given up the one part of my life that had made me happy, the one sliver of my soul that increased my stability the more freedom I gave over. I had grown jealous, and had drawn her in so tight she had no choice but to leave, to break free. I was responsible for the destruction of my own goal in life. And it was my responsibility to rebuild it.