Heart Barricade

          Standing there, I sympathized with every convict waiting at the judge's gavel to come down with a whack. "To tell you the truth, it's downright horrible..." And the gavel missed the sound block and struck me instead. Said judge was sitting behind his ebony desk adjusting his name tag that read : Dean Anderson. I averted my eyes from his hoping mine didn't give away too much. Instead, I gazed at the floor and hoped that no one walking in would think me odd for trying to burn holes in the ground. " I expect you'll present me with a second article tomorrow .You should go back to class Jade." ,he said, his voice laced with disappointment. A quick nod and I was off. I ignored the stinging in my eyes as I descended the stairs. To my chagrin, I bumped into my friend Riley but hurried away before he could drown me with an onslaught of questions  . Catching sight of my class, I was relieved to see my classmates crowding over the teacher's desk ,planning a prank no doubt. No one paid me any heed as I took my seat in the back and fiddled with my blood-red hair.

         I had come to Mr. Anderson a few days back,  asking him for feedback on my writing . Soon enough , i found myself outside his office, an article in hand .I held my breath as he began reading only for him to shoo me away to class so he could read 'peacefully' . I refrained from rolling my eyes and complied .Sure I held on to the article for a fraction of a second longer than needed but don't all writers ? Riley assured me that I would impress with my super article. Well, this was downright convenient.

Ever since I was a kid, I would turn to my notebook like an alcoholic would turn to liquor. The first page of my notebook stared mockingly at me.

Property of Jade The Greatest Writer of all time

         My lips quirked upwards. The greatest writer of all time could not even impress a high school teacher. I dropped my pen and wiped my eyes with my blue sleeve. Just then , the bell rang and everyone rushed to their seats anticipating the prank. I could practically feel Riley's stare penetrating my back. As luck would have it, Mr. Anderson walked through the door.  A few snickers resounded around me. Time seemed to slow down as he approached the sabotaged desk. The thought of warning him crossed my mind, but bitterness stayed my tongue. The moment he sat down , the chair's legs cracked sending them both to the ground.  The dumbstruck look on his face was enough to send everyone into a fit of laughter , everyone but me. I could even hear Riley snickering silently. After gathering his bearings, stood up and dusted himself off and dismissed the class until he could find the perpetrator. Since his class was last, I moved to pack my bag when I noticed his glasses sprawled out on the ground. I pocketed them and began the long trek home.

         I spent the night writing the second article with a speed that put a snail to shame. The next day saw me at 's door with a new article. For the longest time ,I just stood there contemplating whether to hand in the article or not. It was clearly not better than the first. I must have been a horrible person in my previous life ,I thought miserably, because saved me the effort of deciding by opening the door himself .He seemed genuinely surprised to see me. He moved aside to let me in and that was that. I couldn't back out now.

"what do you have for me today?" ,he asked me with his hand-held out. I handed my article over and he nodded approvingly.

"I didn't think you would come ", he commented casually. My eyebrows furrowed and before i could stop myself, let out an outraged " why not ?! "

" After what happened the first time and knowing how much you value other's opinions, I just figured you wouldn't show" and just like that I was at a loss for words.

" You may think that a great writer is capable of pleasing everyone with her words, but that might as well be labeled a lost cause.  Some of your readers will surely turn on you. Can you handle that Jade? Because if you can't then save yourself the heartbreak and turn back" His words echoed in my mind . I knew I didn't handle criticism easily and I handled rejection even worse. Simple words held more power over me than I liked.  Deep down, I realized would have antagonized me no matter what article I had given him the first time.

" If I could somehow learn to sound proof my heart, would that make me a better writer?" I asked quietly .

"I suppose that could work, " he smiled and I grinned in return.

"Alright, let's have a look at that article  shall we ? "

I took out his glasses from my pocket before handing it to him along with my article. A barrage of reproach was sure to come my way once he was done reading . I smiled in anticipation.