A Hole In My Inner Defenses

-A Hole In My Inner Defenses-
by Keaton Foster


Standing
Before the precipice
Facing downwardness
Fearless
Of all things but this
The unknown does grow
The path of “what if”
Is more certain
Than it should be
Fate is neither
A driving force
Or a constant storm
It is nothing to me
It is nothing for me
There have been others
They have gone
Those so loved
All the way down
They screamed my name
They called out to me
To follow close behind
I wish I could leap
But presently I cannot
It’s not because of fear
It has nothing to do with death
There is something missing
A hole in my inner defenses
Existence within a vacuum
Living within a void
Without all that makes me whole
Without something both minute
And all-encompassing
I am nothing
I am incomplete
Thus I could never leap
Willingly I could never go
Where so many others have
Because what if when I get there
What it is that I’m missing most
Is without exception required
Then what
What will I do
I can never come back
Returning is no option
But I also can never move on
I won’t be allowed to transcend
In those depths forever I will be kept
There is something missing
A hole in my inner defenses
How it was placed
What was the case
Nothing I know
Little do I understand
Here upon the edge I must remain
I cannot leap as others have
I cannot go where it is they are
Because in such a place
I fear I truly don’t belong
Heaven and Hell are just words
From such a point of view
I will stand right here
Until whatever piece of me
The sum of that hole
Is somehow returned…


A Hole In My Inner Defenses
Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2014.