What if Yamazaki was in KOF 13

(Vs. Andy Bogard)

Andy: Yamazaki! What is a fiend like you doing in a place like this?!

Yamazaki: Oh not much, lets just say I am going to have some fun with you morons as I now have a new employer. Let me guess this is the part where you save the day by defeating me then go home and pleasure your "dear associate" Mai?

Andy: Pleasure? Why would I want to do that? What's really important to me is that I dream of one day taking Geese Howard down!

Yamazaki: So you refuse to get laid with your slutty looking gal pal yet you dream of dominating a muscular middle aged man? Oh Andy boy this explains so much about you…

Andy: I have no idea what you are talking about nor do I want to. Besides my desire to defeat Geese is especially due to ever since Terry defeated him and I wanted to prove that I can do that too!

Yamazaki: Oh so you feel like your Brother is making you feel like you're less of a man? Bwahahahahahaha! Oh this is rich! Any other Freudian aspects about yourself that you want to share Andy boy? Oh what's next are you going to tell me that you wish your Kunai was longer?

Andy: Enough of your crude insults! I am going to take you down now!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: So you claim that you wish to take down Geese yet you seem to be constantly screwing around with this KOF tournaments. Oh it warms my heart to see how intelligent you are Andy boy.

Andy: A vile fiend such as you would never deserve any mercy.

(Vs. Ash Crimson)

Yamazaki: Oh so you're the fruity little she-male that took Yagami's powers? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh I always knew that Yagami failed at life but this is just too much!

Ash: She-male? As if those Orochi ladies with Yagami were enough of an annoyance to deal with… Apparently I must deal with this obnoxiously hideous pest as well…

Yamazaki: Oh I'm sorry to offend you because I actually have something known as masculinity, you should try it some time.

Ash: Oh it is such a shame, then again I have things such as grace, refinement and intelligence but I doubt you can grasp any of these concepts. Especially since you fail to realize that you are nothing but a pawn to my Master Plan.

Yamazaki: You're the man with the Master Plan? You? A Man? Wouldn't your vagina get in the way of that?

Ash: My, aren't you charming…

Yamazaki: Thanks I try, but while I normally don't dance with ugly flat-chested little girls like you but I suppose I can make you an exception.

Ash: Oh your too kind, now let's see how flammable you are!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Oh don't worry you little she-male I'll paint your nails for you, too bad I don't have any paint. Ah well I'll just use your blood instead, hope you don't mind.

Ash: It's such a sad sight to see Has-beens try to cling to what's left of their fame, quite a pathetic sight really…

(Vs. Athena Asamiya)

Athena: *Gasp!* I have heard of you! You're that infamous wanted criminal Ryuji Yamazaki! Well I am Athena Asamiya the Psycho Soldier of Justice and I will stop you!

Yamazaki: Ah the famous Athena Asamiya, I have heard of you too. Speaking of which a funny thing happened a short while ago when I was at China, I heard a couple of kids talking about you. They were talking about how they wish they can be powerful Psycho Soldiers like you so I thought I introduce myself to them. They made swell target practice… Heh heh heh heh…

Athena: *Gasp*… Bao… Momo… No… No...

Yamazaki: Oh yes the little buggers tried to run but let's just say I have some pretty good aim with my knife here. But who's to say what really happened to those little brats… So would you like to be my next Target Practice little girlie?

Athena: I will not be "Target Practice" you monster… YOU WILL!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: That's right little girl let your rage out then one day you truly will be a "Psycho Soldier"! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Athena: Oh Bao and Momo… I hope you two are okay… I really do…

(Vs. Benimaru Nikaido)

Benimaru: Ryuji Yamazaki, one of the most dangerous criminals in this world and one of the Orochi, sadly it seems to be that you have decided to "grace" us with your presence. But fortunately someone as powerful and as fabulous as I am is here to take you down.

Yamazaki: Powerful? HA! That's a laugh but hey at least you got the "fabulous" part right at least. I have heard a lot about your reputation there you electric fruit and I do understand a lot of it, except for the heterosexual part. Because there doesn't seem to be anything straight about you!

Benimaru: Oh I can assure you that part is quite accurate; oh I'm sorry did I disappoint you? Sorry but I'm afraid you're not my type…

Yamazaki: Oh not at all, in fact let me assure you that I am an equal opportunity psychopath.

Benimaru: My how kind of you…

Yamazaki: Indeed in fact let's start your mutilation RIGHT NOW!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Oh look Kyo's fabulous little boy toy here is being a complete failure again, shocking…

Benimaru: I wonder how much voltage an Electric Chair uses… Ah well I'm sure I'll figure it out…

(Vs. Billy Kane)

Yamazaki: Billy boy! Long time no see! So how's life treating Geese Howard's #1 Boy-toy hmm? So are you two still playing a nice game of "Hide the Cudgel"?

Billy: Yamazaki! I'll make sure I settle the score with you once and for all! I'm going to take you down!

Yamazaki: Ah Billy I didn't know you cared, but before we get to have some playtime. I have a little riddle to share.

Billy: Oh really?

Yamazaki: Yeah what's sweet, golden on top and yet red all over?

Billy: What?

Yamazaki: YOUR SISTER! After I introduced her to my rather sharp little friend here, she sure did an awful lot of screaming that day. And I thought you Brits are normally so polite around visitors.

Billy: Lilly… No…

Yamazaki: Oh yes I do remember that day well but whose to say what really happened to that poor girl.

Billy: Yamazaki… You… You… YOU ARE A DEAD MAN! YOU HEAR ME! YOU'RE DEAD!

Yamazaki: Oh please do try Billy, please do… Muahahahaha… HAHAHAHAHA!

(Winner)

Yamazaki: Oh Billy if only your boss wasn't such a skinflint this might not have happened… Oh who am I kidding we both know that I would've done this anyway right?

Billy: DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! Lilly... I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…

(Vs. Chin Gentsai)

Yamazaki: So you're Chin Gentsai, the mentor of the so-called "Psycho Soldiers" if I am not mistaken.

Chin: Yep, that would be correct, well except for the "so-called" part of course.

Yamazaki: Oh yes I have heard of you, so a drunk senile old midget is a glorified babysitter oh I'm sorry I meant "Mentor" to a bunch of brats? Oh yes I can see this ending so well… well for me that is…

Chin: Oh I don't know my students and I can be quite successful but I suppose there is no point trying to convince someone like you. After all I take it that you're the kind of man who would just want to watch the world burn huh?

Yamazaki: Hmm… The thought has crossed my mind, but personally I like to smash and slice everything in sight. But don't take my word for it in fact I'll show you what I mean right now…

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Now where should I stab you next? Oh I know the liver! I mean I doubt that it's in any decent condition anyway.

Chin: That is the problem with boisterous savages like you in the end your nothing but talk.

(Vs. Clark Still)

Clark: Ryuji Yamazaki, excuse me but may you come along quietly, I wish to have a moment with you privately. Depending on how cooperative you are I may not have to be too rough on you.

Yamazaki: Sorry there Soldier boy but I'm not the "Don't Ask and Don't Tell" kind of guy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Clark: Cute…

Yamazaki: I know I am adorable but let me guess you are here on a mission right, an "Operation Snake Eater" perhaps? Oh that's right I forgot that's the game you and Ol' Ralfy boy play when you're not on duty. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Clark: *sigh* There is nothing more pathetic than a stand up comic who is the only one that is laughing at his jokes. Anyways yes I am on a mission to investigate any actions involving the Orochi and unfortunately it seems to be that you are getting involved this time. Let me guess you have made a little deal with a man by the name of Leopold Goenitz correct?

Yamazaki: Maybe I have, but let's just say things will be a little more profitable for me this time… But I know what this is about, your worried about your little gal pal Leona right? But don't worry we'll take good care of her.

Clark: Oh I'm not worried, I'm certain she can deal with a depraved freak like you. But of course the same thing applies to me as well.

[Winner]

Yamazaki: A real shame these grenades are fake, they would have made great target practice.

Clark: Now about that interrogation, don't worry; I made arrangements at a local hospital.

(Vs. Dark Ash)

Dark Ash: Another one of you Orochi filth is attacking me… Fool I can easily dispose of trash such as you.

Yamazaki: I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and it has been painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facing up when your whole world is black

Dark Ash: What in the…

Yamazaki: I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

Dark Ash: SILENCE! I demand you to listen to me maggot!

Yamazaki: Oh so sorry I've been getting that song stuck in my head lately… But let's see here recall a classic rock song, or listen to a pathetic little she-male who is going to die anyway. Hmm… Choices…

Dark Ash: Death is far too good for an arrogant piece of trash like you; I shall make sure that you burn for all eternity!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: And so ends the Tales of Ash Crimson and nothing of value was lost. Muahahahahaha!

Dark Ash: It's bad enough that you're a pathetic weakling but you are also a terrible singer as well.

(Vs. Duo Lon)

Duo: It appears that I am once again in the presence of the Orochi, Ryuji Yamazaki. I am Duo Lon of the Hizoku Clan.

Yamazaki: Oh yes I have heard of you Duo you are another one of Ash's little boy toys. But to be fair your both effeminate pasty little freaks that love to think that you're so mysterious so I can see why you two would get along.

Duo: Your perception of masculinity is boorish and archaic much like yourself. However I am curious over why would the Orochi even want to hire you, for what I have heard you weren't exactly loyal to them in the past.

Yamazaki: Yes well let's just say things will be a little different now, but first I always did enjoy slicing up known members of clans and far be it from me to exclude yours. Heh heh heh heh heh heh…

[Winner]

Yamazaki: So you don't think that your clan will want to hunt me down to avenge you? *sigh* Such a shame, I was looking forward to the target practice.

Duo: A chaotic depraved soul such as you will never deserve mercy.

(Vs. Elizabeth Blanctorche)

Elizabeth: Another one of you Orochi vermin has decided to stand in my way.

Yamazaki: Yep and I've been told that you are Ash's little gal pal right?

Elizabeth: I came here to find Ash as he has strayed from our mission far too much.

Yamazaki: Oh yes I'm sure you will punish that bad boy so will it be before or after you jump his nuts huh?

Elizabeth: Wha… How… How… HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU MAKE SUCH A VULGAR INSINUATION YOU VILE CRETIN!

Yamazaki: Oh please any idiot can tell that you want him so bad princess. But then again I suppose the idea of you jumping his nuts would be inaccurate, because that would imply that Ash had any to begin with.

Elizabeth: Hmph, Ash is far more of a man than you ever will be you arrogant Neanderthal.

Yamazaki: Oh isn't that cute? It is such a shame that this rose will be cut off before its time, good thing I live for things like this.

[Winner]

Yamazaki: I suppose that in the end it doesn't matter whether if you actually wanted to get boned by Ash or not, it's not like you two have much of a future anyway.

Elizabeth: I almost pity the Orochi for having a vulgar degenerate like you amongst their ranks, almost.

(Vs. Goro Daimon)

Yamazaki: Oh goody my next opponent is Kyo Kusanagi's baby sitter.

Goro: I am much more than that as I am a known Judo Master in Japan.

Yamazaki: *Yawn* That's nice but you really don't have the best grasp in priorities there big guy.

Goro: Oh and why would you say that?

Yamazaki: Well should you really focus all your attention on these KOF tournaments? I mean you should pay more attention to your wife and son, after all you can't always guarantee their safety now can you?

Goro: YOU LEAVE THEM OUT OF THIS YOU FILTHY MONGREL!

Yamazaki: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh it's that easy to strike a nerve with you huh? I wonder if I throw my knife I can stab that nerve from here.

Goro: You will need more than that puny knife to take me down you Orochi scum!

Yamazaki: Orochi Scum? Oh what's next are we going to bring back the "Weenie" insults?

Goro: Enough talk! I'm going to crush you!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: From Olympic Gold Medalist to a glorified but unpaid babysitter, oh how the mighty have fallen.

Goro: If any of you Orochi fiends has harmed my family I will rid the world of the Orochi myself!

(Vs. Hwa Jai)

Hwa Jai: I am Hwa Jai the Dragon's Tooth of Muay Thai!

Yamazaki: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh I don't believe this! Of all the has-beens and "never was" losers of the past that Ol' Mr. Justice Fetish could've picked for his team he picked you?! I mean what was Michael Max too busy at the time?

Hwa Jai: Say what you will about me now but I am going to be the #1 champ in Muay Thai!

Yamazaki: Sure you are a top notch Muay Thai kick boxer Hwa Jai and I'm a saint who helps small children in 3rd world countries.

Hwa Jai: Heh boy are you subtle, anyways I've heard about you from Kim. So I'm thinking that if I take down someone like you I can convince Kim to graduate me already.

Yamazaki: Oh so that is your little scheme huh? You know if you wanted me to kill you then all you had to do was just ask. Ha ha ha ha ha ha…

[Winner]

Yamazaki: I wonder if any other old faces will show up… Hon Fu… Cheng... It would be so great to have them for a little reunion… with my knife.

Hwa Jai: Ha! The Orochi's fang is no match for the Dragon's Tooth!

(Vs. Iori Yagami)

Yamazaki: Yagami! So how is Japan's favorite purple flamer? Oh that's right I forgot that you lost your flames, so sorry about that.

Iori: Get out of my sight trash; I have more important things to do.

Yamazaki: Heeheeheheehee… Oh Yagami I still think it's so hilarious on how it's bad enough that you lost your flames but you lost it from a fruity little she-male like that Ash Crimson?! Oh Yagami I always knew that you fail in life but even I am surprised that you would fail this hard! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Iori: I don't need my flames to deal with someone like you, I am here to take down Kyo but I will gladly tear you apart first!

Yamazaki: Tell me Yagami does it hurt to know that Kyo probably likes Yuki more than you? Try to tear him apart all you want sweetheart he'll never take you to the prom! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Iori: DIE!

Yamazaki: Oh Yagami your ability to come up with witty comebacks amazes me so. Mutilating you is going to be so much fun!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Oh Yagami to go from the Kusanagi's most dangerous foe to a little she-male's sloppy seconds. I could kill you but as of right now that would be euthanasia! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Iori: Death is far too good for trash like you.

(Vs. Joe Higashi)

Joe: Oh great look at what the snake dragged in, so what's a freak-show like you doing in a place like this?

Yamazaki: Oh I'm a freak-show? Oh that's rich coming from you Mr. Masturbates in Public.

Joe: Hey I wasn't masturbating! I was just itchy down there, that's all!

Yamazaki: Right sure you are, course I can understand why you would do such a thing it's the only action you ever got. After all we know the real reason why you love to make those big long tornadoes; it's just simply a matter of compensation.

Joe: Oh Freudian jokes, real original there Mr. Tiny Knife. But I'll have you know I am with a fine lady thank you very much.

Yamazaki: Oh yes you seem to really hit it off with that Drag Queen you saved at the 2K3 tournament oh you two make such a sexy couple.

Joe: AH! I WAS TALKING ABOUT BILLY'S SISTER LILLY!

Yamazaki: Lilly? You think you actually have a shot with her? AHAHAHAHA! Oh please her brother has more of a shot with her than you!

Joe: Oh that's it you are so going down!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Oh Joe it warms my heart to see that your still the same loser who tries so hard to cling to his 2nd Banana status with the Bogard Brothers, its good to see that some things never change.

Joe: And you think I have terrible luck with women? At least not every woman finds me repulsive.

(Vs. K')

Yamazaki: Hello you Bargain Basement Kyo Kusanagi! How are you doing today little boy?

K': You really want to get burned to ashes by me do you?

Yamazaki: Oh I love to see you try little boy, but don't worry Ol' Uncle Yamazaki will love to play with you kiddies including your little gal pal Kula.

K': If you go anywhere near her I will kill you.

Yamazaki: Aw how sweet! You do care about her! But don't worry little skipper if you save your little gal pal Kula from me I'm sure you will be defrosting her icy little cherry in no time.

K': YOU ARE SO DEAD!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Its a shame that those idiots at NESTS didn't think of cloning someone like me, oh what fun times will we have if they did something like that.

K': No one threatens Kula and lives to tell about it, no one…

(Vs. Kensou, Sie)

Kensou: I've heard of you Ryuji Yamazaki! My teacher has told me all I need to know about you.

Yamazaki: Oh really? Well then did you come to throw your panties at me? Oh wait I forgot you never actually saw one in use huh?

Kensou: N…Not True! I mean uh… that's not the point! Anyways I am known as the Young Rising Dragon and I have grown to be more powerful than what I use to be! So there!

Yamazaki: Oh so you really are quite the little "Boy Wonder" huh? Such a shame I don't have a crowbar with me, but I suppose this knife will have to do instead.

Kensou: Huh? What are talking about?

Yamazaki: You'll see little boy… you'll see…

[Winner]

Yamazaki: A little louder there Lambchop? I think you may have a collapsed lung that always impedes the oratory.

Kensou: Oh so I actually managed to beat the infamous Ryuji Yamazaki? Oh wow I hope Athena was watching this!

(Vs. Kim Kaphwan)

Yamazaki: Hey there Kimmy boy, long time no see Mr. Justice Fetish, so you still using "Justice" to justify your dominance issues?

Kim: Hmph… Only someone like you would view Justice as some sort of fetish

Yamazaki: Well the way you carry out your kind of Justice it kind of does what with your violent demands of discipline and submission and all that, such a shame you generally do it to ugly older men though.

Kim: Enough! I am going to make sure that I will bring you to justice you vile fiend!

Yamazaki: Oh please do try Kimmy boy, do try… AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Oh and don't worry Kimmy boy I'll be seeing your family real soon, I'll take real good care of them.

Kim: It pains me to see that there are those far too evil to rehabilitate but at least now I can bring you to justice.

(Vs. King)

Yamazaki: Well if it isn't Miss Wannabe Man-Lady so are you still hating the fact you have lady parts Miss King?

King: As a matter of fact I don't in fact people like you are why I am a little more willing to embrace my femininity nowadays.

Yamazaki: Oh so that is why you're not trying to hide your huge rack anymore, but how come you usually do all female teams? Do you want to embrace other people's femininity as well? AHAHAHAHAHA!

King: No but thanks for giving me another reason why you are quite possibly the last person I'd ever allow near my restaurant.

Yamazaki: Oh yes speaking of which tell me King are you making enough money from your establishment?

King: I'm making enough so let me guess your going to dabble into extortion now?

Yamazaki: Oh no I got something even better in mind, remember a while back when you had to make sure that you can afford the operation that your dear little brother Jan needed? Well let's just say I hope you still have enough money for his medical expenses…

King: You twisted son of a…

Yamazaki: Well I'll be I get to play a new game of "Count the veins on King's Forehead".

King: Oh I got a better idea for a game "Count the wounds on Yamazaki"! I'll set it up right now!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Now how are you going to take care of your brother's medical expenses when you need to be in the hospital? For shame Miss King… For shame… BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

King: Looks like you will be the one who needs a trip to the hospital, but I doubt that the Doctors could do anything with your man parts. Then again it's not like you really had them to begin with.

(Vs. Kula Diamond)

Yamazaki: Hello little girl would you like to come with me, I have candy.

Kula: Oh really? Oh can I have some candy? Please? Please? Please?

Yamazaki: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh man that was WAY too easy! Let me guess your ugly oversized nanny never gave you any "Stranger Danger" tips? Hmm?

Kula: Oh I remember now Seirah told me about you she said you are a VERY bad man!

Yamazaki: Oh so little miss Dominatrix wannabe was the one who warned you about me huh? Well that figures… So what were you planning after this KOF? Were you going to chill K's spicy little sausage?

Kula: Huh? What are you talking about?

Yamazaki: Oh be sure to tell him about that, I'm sure he'll understand.

Kula: Wow I've been told that not only are you a real meanie but you are also really weird and I can see why anyone would think you're really weird.

Yamazaki: Oh little girl you have no idea… Heeheeheeheeheeheehee... Now it looks like its time for me to show you how "weird" I can be!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Oh I wonder if little miss Whippy will make a comeback, I'd love to slice that whip of hers, among other things… Hahahaha…

Kula: Not only are you a bad man but you're a liar too! You didn't have any candy!

(Vs. Kyo Kusanagi)

Kyo: Well well the infamous Ryuji Yamazaki, Terry Bogard has told me stories about you.

Yamazaki: Oh really? Okay now you got me curious what did he say?

Kyo: That you are one of the vilest freaks on this whole planet, that you are an insanely depraved lunatic, oh and that your fashion sense is incredibly tacky as well.

Yamazaki: AHAHAHAHAHA! Oh Terry you sweet talker you! I'll go give Terry my thanks later. But first I'll play with you kiddo, though there is something I want to tell you. You really should spend more time with your darling little gal pal Yuki there Kyo.

Kyo: Yuki? How did you know about Yuki?

Yamazaki: Oh it wasn't that hard to know who she is, before this KOF tournament began I spent a little bit of time watching your little gal pal there Kyo. I know what time she wakes up in the morning, which shops she is normally at and that she often carries a little picture of you wherever she goes. Oh Kyo it's quite a shame that people barely ever talk of her but don't worry there is a decent chance that this might change in the near future.

Kyo: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER YOU FREAK?!

Yamazaki: Nothing, why do you think I should?

Kyo: Oh no you have already done enough so let's just say I am even more determined to make sure that you Orochi freaks are wiped out and stay wiped out!

Yamazaki: Oh yes because you did such a fine job before, so let's dance little boy, lets dance!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: I really don't know why you're so concerned with Yuki; I always thought you and Iori were one of KOF's Power Couples huh? MAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kyo: I normally try to give my opponents a light flamebroiling but for guys like you I would gladly make an exception.

(Vs. Leona Heidern)

Yamazaki: Well well if it isn't leaky Leona, how are you doing there Princess? Been getting any urges lately?

Leona: So it is true that you are now working with the Orochi, I vowed that I would never be consumed by the power of Orochi ever again!

Yamazaki: MAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh what makes you think you have a choice there Princess? I have been given a generous amount of money from a certain man we know of with hair like mine but he is clad in blue robes to give you a little message. Let's just say that certain man isn't far from here and you might be feeling those urges at any time Leona, at any time… Now do you get the picture?

Leona: No… No…

Yamazaki: Oh what's the matter Leona, afraid of your little time of the month? But of course with folks like us around the Orochi will never truly die keep that in mind.

Leona: I am not… one of the Orochi!

Yamazaki: Oh my denial of who you are is a very mentally unhealthy thing to do, but then again who am I to talk? AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Let's dance Princess!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Oh you really should let out your desire for carnage it can be quite invigorating you know, trust me.

Leona: Where is he? Where is Leopold Goenitz?! ANSWER ME NOW!

(Vs. Mai Shiranui)

Mai: Oh I remember you you're that loud mouth creep with the knife; I still remember when you first attacked South Town back then. Looks like you haven't changed all that much over time.

Yamazaki: Neither have you but of course its interesting that you haven't started to sag yet. But hey I suppose that's what happens when you only exist for fanservice.

Mai: Hey now I am upholding my tradition as a Kunoichi namely a Shiranui Kunoichi!

Yamazaki: Oh you mean dressed like a whore? Then yeah you really honor those traditions well, and I can assure you that I am not the only contestant here who thinks that way. I've seen some of your other matches here and I think you know what I mean.

Mai: Yeah well times like this remind me on how Andy is far more of a man than you ever will be.

Yamazaki: Oh yes Mai it takes a special kind of man to make sure that you will probably die a virgin, as implausible as it sounds.

Mai: That's… That's not true!

Yamazaki: Oh does that mean you got laid before you wanted Andy to bone you?

Mai: No! That's not what I meant at all freak! Oh now I am going to show you how powerful the Shiranui Ninja Arts can truly be!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Face it Miss Rackula, your darling Andy is not quite the "straight man" you think he is.

Mai: So do you still doubt how useful my Ninja Arts are you creep?

(Vs. Mature)

Yamazaki: Ah yes Miss Mature I noticed that you have ditched the "80's Porn Star" look with that eye patch of yours, are you trying to go for a modern Pirate look? But seriously it's such a shame that Vice isn't here with you. After all we both know on how much she digs me.

Mature: Oh yes Yamazaki and if by "dig" you mean wants to claw all your organs out then yes I suppose that would be true.

Yamazaki: Oh but that is just part of the fun there, but don't worry Mature we could always go for a threesome.

Mature: Oh yes thanks for the sudden urge of nausea there Yamazaki.

Yamazaki: You're welcome and since I am such a sweetheart feel free to try to wipe this smile off my face.

Mature: Now that I would gladly comply!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Oh I almost forgot you only give yourself over to "classy men" in fancy red suits huh? So sorry that I forgot that little detail…

Mature: Just a little reminder that Vice finds you to be extremely repulsive, oh yes and so do I.

(Vs. Maxima)

Yamazaki: Well if it isn't another one of NESTS tools… Though it's almost a shame that you went from being a weapon to an over glorified nanny.

Maxima: Oh I don't know it can give one a sense of inner peace to have a purpose in life other than just carnage but I suppose you wouldn't know about that huh?

Yamazaki: True, but I can't wait until I can play with your little rugrats. Why all I need to do is to claim that I have candy and little Miss Kula will happily be in my hands.

Maxima: That's assuming K' didn't already burn you to a crisp.

Yamazaki: Oh don't worry I will play with him too, but first things first I'll be having my fun with you big guy.

Maxima: Let me guess is this the part where you ask me why so serious?

Yamazaki: No but this is the part where I put a smile on your face!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Don't worry big guy, I'll make sure that you will be recycled as soon as possible.

Maxima: Well since giving you a beating was quite satisfying in a way you did bring a smile on my face. Thanks!

(Vs. Mr. Karate)

Yamazaki: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Still wearing that stupid Tengu mask there Old Man? Ah man, are you starting to go senile?!

Mr. Karate: Fool, do you not realize how much of a battle aura I have?!

Yamazaki: Oh am I supposed to be scared that you are now dressed in black? But speaking of your fashion sense it's kind of odd that you would even want to wear that Mask.

Mr. Karate: I am the Karate Demon Mr. Karate! Why would you be so surprised at my face?

Yamazaki: I remember hearing that you wore the same mask back when you were Geese's old boy toy before you got a beating from your own son. What's the matter Old Man? Wanted to have a little memento of back when you were one of Ol' Geese's favorite tools?

Mr. Karate: You will die slowly and painfully for that!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: I always wanted to slay a demon, but I suppose I can settle for an incredibly delusional old man who likes to think that he is one though.

Mr. Karate: Those who doubt the power of the Karate Demon will never succeed.

(Vs. Raiden)

Yamazaki: Oh goody another has-been, oh wait even back in the good ol' days you were a has-been as well that's why you went into a life of crime.

Raiden: That only happened once! I mean you agree to be an enforcer for a crime boss years ago and some people still refuse to let you live that one down. I mean do you have any idea how much I had to tell Kim that I stopped working for Geese ages ago?

Yamazaki: Then why are you still wearing that stupid mask? Or do you not care whether you are a heel or not as long as you actually get any screen time at all? I suppose that makes sense you never really were all that much of a Heel anyway.

Raiden: You're right; you're WAY more of a heel than I ever will be which is why I am going to take you down!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Let me guess after this KOF tournament you're going to be in one of those "Celebrity Reality" TV Shows? Hmm?

Raiden: Maybe I should stop wearing this mask; this thing has been giving me nothing but trouble.

(Vs. Ralf Jones)

Yamazaki: Hey there Ralfy boy, let me guess the Ol' One-eyed Trautman wannabe sent you to play with me huh?

Ralf: If by play you mean that I would be destroying you with my explosive fists then yeah I suppose I will play with you.

Yamazaki: Oh how sweet, but first things first has your little gal pal been feeling any sudden urges lately?

Ralf: Yeah about that I am going to make sure you Orochi will never do that to Leona again!

Yamazaki: Oh Ralfy boy little do you know that Mature, Vice and I are not the only ones of the Hakkeshu that is nearby. Why your darling little gal pal can suddenly be a little more violent at any time there Ralfy boy, at any time. Get the picture now?

Ralf: No… Goenitz… TELL ME WHERE HE IS NOW!

Yamazaki: That's my little secret there Ralfy boy but why so sad old man? Are you scared of what will happen to poor Leona or are you scared that we are going to show her what a real man is like? MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ralf: You… You… YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Oh the sight of a man who is so willing to fight for the lady who always friend-zones him, it's almost too pathetic to laugh at, almost… HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ralf: Get up! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!

(Vs. Robert Garcia)

Yamazaki: Well if it isn't the Sakazaki's Cash Cow, ah yes your family is pretty much the only reason why the Kyokugen Dojo is still around. But hey I could always relieve you of that burden of trying to maintain the Dojo if you know what I mean.

Robert: No thanks, but fortunately my family can afford to pay for any damages if you or anyone else decides to attack the place anyways. Though I suppose it would be for the best to install a new top notch security system for the Dojo.

Yamazaki: HA! Oh like that will do any good against me? But I know the real reason why you're so willing to work with the Sakazaki family basically is because you have been trying to nail Takuma's daughter. So let me guess are you glad that Yuri finally has a rack again?

Robert: Ah yeah…. Hey wait a minute! That's entrapment!

Yamazaki: I know and you feel for it sucker! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! But don't worry Robby boy if you are lucky you might be too injured to explain why you're glad that Yuri finally has breasts again.

Robert: We'll see about that freak show, we'll see about that…

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Oh it only makes sense to put the Spanish Italian Stallion out to pasture, the Sakazakis have been using you for glue for how long now?

Robert: Oh yes I have money, respect and the mutual love of a good woman… I normally don't brag about these things too much but for you I'll make an exception.

(Vs. Ryo Sakazaki)

Yamazaki: Well well if it isn't King's favorite beard? How you doing?

Ryo: Beard? What are you talking about? Oh is that just another example of your insanity?

Yamazaki: Oh yes this reminds me of the time I once went Ballroom Dancing with a Llama on the Dark Side of the Moon.

Ryo: I see… *sigh* It's quite a shame that the KOF Tournament are starting to reuse its villains.

Yamazaki: I don't see why not considering how many times these KOF tournaments have been reusing their heroes. Isn't that right Mr. "Art of Fighting"?

Ryo: Touché… Anyways I know that you are here to cause some trouble so I figured that it's no time like the present to show you that I truly am the "Invincible Dragon"!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: You're the Invincible Dragon? HA! And you idiots wonder why your precious gym rarely ever has any costumers huh?

Ryo: Think of this as my way to make sure you don't cause any trouble at my family's gym.

(Vs. Saiki)

Saiki: It is pathetic to see that you foolish Orochi plot against me but in the end, it doesn't really matter as not even the Orochi clan can stand against time.

Yamazaki *gasp* Oh wait you mean this KOF Tournament was all a part of some plot from a super villain that was trying to do some evil scheme? AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh who would've ever thought that something like THAT would happen huh?

Saiki: Imbecile I am far more powerful than you ever will be!

Yamazaki: Yeah yeah I know you're a stupidly broken prick whom is the last opponent in a KOF tournament and yet they all have been defeated. Oh and "Spoiler Alert"! That goes for you too.

Saiki: You sound so certain of my fate, but perhaps it is time that I place Orochi filth like you in your place!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Oh let me guess are you going to turn into an even more broken and stupid looking form now?

Saiki: Your time has long passed filth, perhaps now you will actually see that…

(Vs. Shen Woo)

Shen: You… You're the infamous criminal Ryuji Yamazaki! I've heard about you back home in China! Ah man if I managed to knock you out I will be really famous back home.

Yamazaki: Oh you sound so sure of yourself there little fella and I have vaguely heard of you, your one of that fruity she-male Ash's stooges huh?

Shen: Actually I am here with Miss Elizabeth Blanctorche thank you very much.

Yamazaki: Oh so you're going to brag about how you get to hang out with a young lady with a huge rack huh? That's no surprise these KOF Tournaments have plenty of those to go around. Granted you obviously don't have a shot with her but I suppose I can't blame a guy for trying huh?

Shen: Tha…That's not what I meant! We are here looking for Ash honest!

Yamazaki: Oh so you are one of Ash's boy toys huh? Oh I'm sure you two would make such a cute couple!

Shen: AH THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT EITHER! Oh geez I just realized that you also have a reputation for playing mind games with your victims and I am starting to see why. I better knock you out just to shut you up.

Yamazaki: Better men than you have tried little boy FAR better men than you… But far be it from me to ignore another potential victim so let's dance!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: You kind of remind me of myself… that is if I was some fruity little she-male's pathetic boy toy oh what is this world coming to?

Shen: Time to put you out to pasture grandpa! An old has-been like you never had a chance against some new hotness like me.

(Vs. Takuma Sakazaki)

Yamazaki: Oh great if it isn't Geese Howard's original boy toy…

Takuma: It is perfectly possible to live down such a regrettable action, you of all people can attest to that.

Yamazaki: True but our circumstances are a little different I mean I have severed my ties with Ol' Man Geese for being a cheapskate, among severing other things. You on the other hand were greatly humbled by your own son, which makes one wonder why your kids haven't placed you in a rest home I'll never know.

Takuma: Oh trust me I am far too strong to ever have to retire; I can prove that to you right now!

Yamazaki: Ah yes a big old guy like you would make great target practice for my knife, especially if I managed to puncture that X-shaped scar of yours.

Takuma: Far greater men than you have tried and they all have failed!

Yamazaki: Well then there is always a first time for everything, now let's have some fun old man.

[Winner]

Yamazaki: I noticed that your scar is old and ugly like you but don't worry I'll gladly give you some new ones.

Takuma: I once recall of a phrase which is "The Weakest Dog Barks the Loudest" that describes you perfectly you mongrel.

(Vs. Terry Bogard)

Yamazaki: Bogard! Long time no see Goldilocks…

Terry: Hello Yamazaki and yes it has been a long time, not long enough though.

Yamazaki: Oh Terry we are practically like two sides of the same coin, you would do well to remember that.

Terry: I'd rather not Yamazaki I really would rather not…

Yamazaki: Say Goldilocks there have been rumors that things aren't doing so well between you and Mary nowadays. Aw what's the matter the Lone Wolf can't get it up anymore? Or are you scared that Mary found out what a real man is like after when she was in my KOF team before.

Terry: Oh let me assure you those rumors are false however Mary did find out a real man after when she was in your KOF Team before namely me. After all both Mary and I know that there is a reason you love to show off that pointy knife of yours and lets just say I wouldn't need to do such a thing.

Yamazaki: Oh how cute a wolf who likes to think that he is a horse, such a shame I haven't found Mary yet but I suppose I can play with you first.

Terry: Hey wait a minute Yamazaki, I got to answer a call here… Hello Mary yeah this ii Terry, I found our old punching bag Yamazaki nearby I'll be knocking him out so you can haul him off to Jail. Ah yeah love you too babe bye…

Yamazaki: Since when did you have a cellphone?

Terry: I recently got this as a gift from Mary, it's a very durable little phone here. But first things first I'll be knocking you out after all unlike you I normally don't disappoint women.

[Winner]

Yamazaki: So much for your "highly durable" little phone there Goldilocks, ah well I might as well deliver my "message" to Mary in person.

Terry: Hello there Mary it's me Terry yeah I just wanted to call you to say that I got Yamazaki all KOed and ready to be hauled off to Jail. Oh I'll definitely look forward to that later Mary… alright see you later… Man this is one of the best days ever.

(Vs. Vice)

Vice: You…

Yamazaki: Vice, Vice Baby! YEOW! How are you doing my sexy little sadist?

Vice: I should have known that I would be running into you here and for the last time my eyes are up here.

Yamazaki: Oh I know, I'll be getting to them, eventually. Oh you got to love our sexual tension huh Vice?

Vice: I would… I mean if there was any! I can't wait until I tear you apart!

Yamazaki: Oh Vice you're the most depraved violent savage that I know, we are so meant for each other.

Vice: Sh…Shut up! We are supposed to be fighting now! Or do you really want me to rip you apart?!

Yamazaki: Oh do whatever you like honey, but I suppose that's enough for the flirting lets get to the foreplay.

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Alright I suppose that is enough foreplay for now Vice, now give Daddy some sugar.

Vice: Stupid… I… I don't like you at all! How can you be so stupid to think that I would like you huh?

(Vs. Yamazaki, Ryuji)

Yamazaki: What is this? I don't even…

Yamazaki: Problem?

Yamazaki: No not really I always have been into mutilation, so I might as well get into some self-mutilation every now & then!

Yamazaki: That's the spirit Ol' Buddy now let's begin slicing each other!

Yamazaki: AHAHAHAHAHA! Ah yeah! Let's get it on!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: *sigh* Self-Mutilation is not as invigorating as I thought it would be, how disappointing…

(Vs. Yuri Sakazaki)

Yamazaki: Well I'll be they finally allow you to have breasts! Oh it must have been ages since the last time you actually had a rack there Yuri.

Yuri: I know I haven't had one since… Hey wait a minute you weren't supposed to notice that!

Yamazaki: Oh but I have, especially since I am sure your glad you don't have the body of a pre-teen anymore.

Yuri: Pre-Teen?! That is so not true! I mean you shouldn't judge a woman by her body you sexist jerk!

Yamazaki: Sexiest Jerk? Why thank you little Miss Sakazaki but don't worry I know your not quite so little anymore.

Yuri: I SAID SEXIST JERK you chauvinist prick! Oh man you really are obnoxious! But I suppose there is no time like the present to knock some sense into you!

[Winner]

Yamazaki: Hmm… I wonder how much money I can get from Ol' Robby boy and your family if I oh lets just say I put you up for sale.

Yuri: A freaky looking thug like you can never beat a sweet but tough little princess like me!