The Beach

This summer I went to the beach one hot day.
Summer, what summer? I hear you say.
Well the one or two days that it got over thirty,
And I was feeling sweaty hot and dirty.

I struggled into my costume and sandles and hat.
I slipped slopped and slapped, and did all of that.
Then in mid afternoon I headed down to the beach.
Now I was here it was a lifestyle within reach.

No worries I was fat, like the back of a bus,
Invisibility cloaks you when you are sixty years plus.
My arms all brown to above elbow height
And the rest of my body a spotty pearly white.

The sand was hot as I strode to the shore.
I dropped down my towel, bag and clothes that I wore,
Then seizing the Chickenfeed boogie board tight
I stumbling, rushed at the waves, not taking fright.

There was not much surf. It was probably high tide.
It was choppy. And the waves broke too heavy to ride.
They were breaking so close to the sand that I thought
If I rode one in I would surely get caught.

So I paddled about for a while cooling down,
I swam and did duck dives and clowned around.
I was beyond the breakers, out of harms way,
My confidence growing, it was child's play.

After a while, though, I had had enough.
I looked to the shore and wondered, was it still rough?
Perched on the boogie board I kicked my way in
The waves churned up the sand, thumped, thundering.

I caught a wave, for a second I was flying,
Feeling young, happy, ecstatically trying
Not to run over kids when I came in to land.
I was buffeted pummeled as the board hit the sand.

I tried to stand up. The water only knee deep.
But a wave quickly knocked me off of my feet.
I rolled around trying to regain my composure
But my position was one of complete exposure.

Another wave rushed in and rolled me around.
I could not manage to get feet onto ground.
Then another wave broke as I flapped arms and legs.
Churning washing machine filled with the dregs.

As the waves came I rolled over once more
Struggling to get myself safely on shore.
A great white whale floundering about,
Hoping against hope that the tide might go out.

A group of men stood close by laughing at me
As I rolled around and around helplessly.
Looking at them, "please, could you help me" I cried
Striding into the surf two were soon at my side.

As I rolled one last time, they lent me a hand
They had me upright. I staggered to the land.
They laughed as they saw that I was indeed alright
I laughed in reply. I had escaped with a fright.

When I got home I went straight to the shower
And stayed in it for what seemed like an hour.
I scrubbed sand out of every orifice and pore
Until beach sand literally covered the floor.

Not to be defeated, I went surfing once more,
Even though the buffeting had left me a bit sore.
But this time I left the boogie board a home.
And now I am swimming at the Aquadome.