The Handy-Dandy Candy Spider

It was raining
and the sky was dark
the night the spider came.
He walked - a dandy -
eight legs - how handy -
striped like candy cane.

In spotted coat
and stripy strides
he hopped onto the bed.
There he sat,
his checkered hat
atop his hairy head.

I shivered
as he ogled me
with five score beady eyes.
He cleared his throat,
then he spoke,
enquired of my ‘insides’,

“They’re well, thank you,
you’re kind to ask.”
I answered quite politely.
He blinked his
hundred greedy eyes
and sidled up beside me.

“I sucks your eyes
‘an wraps me tongue
around your juicy belly.
Wi’ dabs o’ fat
as big as me ‘at
I’ll make a pudden o’ your jelly.”

And so that dark
and rainy night
became the end of me,
the handy-dandy,
candy Spider
ate me for his tea.