Locked away Love

My dearest Saiya,

I apologize that I am not there for you, it is not because I don't care, it is in fact the opposite. I know you don't understand or will ever have the chance to understand. I hope you remember me from the brief time that we did have together, I think about you everyday and wish there was a way to let you know. You should know that I cry myself to sleep most nights because my heart breaks not being able to be near you. I miss you so much, I can not nor ever will be able to find the words to truly convey my love, my hurt, and my sadness to you.

You have another sister, she has blue eyes just like you. She wishes she could meet you, says she wants to make you feel better. I hope you don't think that I just left, abandoned you. I could never do that, I fought like hell for you and your sister but the universe had different plans. I will never be able to tell you the truth of what happened face to face, even if I could you could not comprehend the viciousness of it. The hardest thing I have ever had to do was be forced to walk away and never see you again.

I know it may not be long before you leave this world, then perhaps the truth will be revealed through the infinite spiritual wisdom that you will gain once you cross over. For me though I must tell you my side, I can't just let you go and suffer the way you have had to without telling you my story as to why I'm not there.

Believe me I tried so hard, but the hate your mother has for me was to strong for me to break through. Here it goes. When me and your mother split, I tried to make it work, I was civilized with her and appeased every request she had to the best of my ability but it wasn't enough to satisfy her. I attempted to be more than fair in the divorce court, I even agreed to give her most of everything I made just to get to see you, but again that wasn't good enough, my money wasn't good enough.

You have to realize that she is the one that kept me away, she said that I was trying to make her abandon her family for me. She did not understand that at the time You, me, her and your unborn sister was her family. She failed to see that she was the one abandoning her family and I was trying to save it, but what can one man do to save the ones closest to him when an army opposes him based on lies and hatred. I really hope that I am able to at least be able to see you when you finally enter your final sleep. I pray that I at least get the chance to give you my final goodbye.

I hope you do not hate me, but if you do then I accept that.

Love you always until the end of eternity,
Dad