Diary entry.

I don't even understand anything. I don't know my own emotions. I... I don't get it. this guy... I don't like him. I'm pretty sure. yet, I find myself thinking... what if he asked me out? what if he kissed me? what if he held me when I was sad, held me when I was happy, held me when I needed to be held? what is he was there for me? what if he was my best friend, and more than that? what if he could look into my eyes and tell that I wasn't alright, that I wasn't okay, that I was putting on a fake show for the benefit of others? oh well. he isn't even that cute.