I was driven by them

A poem reflecting on the consequences of leaving a past partner

I used to drive away to foreign lands;
not for sex or for fun but to feel a bristle,
on my feet, of the new golden sands

I drove with people I adored;
not because of their looks or charms but for the memories
of where their hearts were once stored.

I drove with secrecy and with lips sealed,
not because I was ashamed but it was in private,
our guilty pleasures were revealed.

I drove away my present lover,
not because they were disappointing, but a only a new man,
I thought, could help me recover.

I drove away from any new lovers, however,
not because they weren't available
but I chose someone old, who falsely promised me 'forever'.

After all this driving around
I should've known

Should've known it was inevitable
that with all this driving around,

I would never settle,
I'd always be alone.

I would never settle for someone so cold
for someone my age, but someone so old.

Now all I need is to drive,
With a new man or a lover
who will make me feel at home and alive.