Dear Dad

I'm not angry, I'm in pain, and you put me here.
The one person who is supposed to love me more than anything.
The one who saves me when I need rescuing,
not the one who sits there and watches.
The one that's supposed to look me in my eyes and heal the pain,
not the one causing it.
The one that's supposed to be there when I have my heart broken,
not the one doing the heartbreaking.
But I guess we all don't get what we want.
You should understand that more than anyone.
But it seems that I tend to ask myself the same question everyday,
" If your dad wasn't there, and you know how it feels to feel worthless,
then why would you cause the same pain?"
Where were you?
Where were you when I was in the mental hospital for 3 months?
Where were you when I wanted to kill myself because I didn't see or understand my self worth?
Where were you when I had no more tears left to cry?
Where were you when the tears were so dried out, that I sat there, emotionless?
Nowhere.
You were nowhere.
Not a call,
nor a text.
Nothing.
And that's exactly how you made me feel.
Nothing.