Irrelevant

Fuckoff
So once again you’re in my thoughts, you managed to somehow weasel your way back into my head
I don’t know why, you’re not very good at comforting me when I’m down, your choice of words made me wish I were dead
But that’s okay, it’s not your fault, I should have never put you on that so undeserving pedestal
So what consoling is not your very best
I just wanted you to be there, put forth effort that you cared, you failed the fucking test
I was vulnerable, I opened up, I’m an opened wound, now there’s nothing left
You say I’m playing victim and have to be more positive but I’m the one dealing with all this pain
No thanks to you all by myself
With no help of drugs or alcohol to ease the anger and anxiety
That you seem to intensify inside of me
Maybe I should walk around oblivious and aloof like you but my ability to be sympathetic and empathetic towards others keeps me conscious and sane
Regardless of the pain

You say I shouldn’t feel the way I do, I should suck it up, keep quiet
But if you were in my position and got fucked over the way I did, right now you would be crying
Because I remember back when something similar like this happened you were crying and I know if I were to confront you about it you would deny it
Well I’m not one to bring up the past to make someone feel embarrassed or worthless
Because you’re so good at lying and hiding things and flirting with the guys to get your way, you know how to work it
You’re so good at sorry
But the difference between us is I follow my heart, I don’t give my love out or flirt just to make me feel relevant

I told you time and time again how I was feeling
You only bothered when you wanted, most of the time you just said nothing

Time and time again I showed you what love is
You made me feel so irrelevant, I’d rather you say something even if you said you don’t want it, but you just said nothing

Thanks for opening and pouring salt in these wounds
Now I have no fucks left to give
You try to say I’m overreacting
But you must not know me, I’m resilient
You try to act like you’re so innocent
Now that you’re not crying and everything is so perfect for you but one question how can you trust those guys' whose dicks been in your throat
You can suck on these words and choke

Why don’t we go back to the beginning, I was the one who was here
Supporting you through no matter what, showering you with the sweetest words, I was there
But you don’t even care
You forget everything, sometimes I wonder where does your mind disappear
I’m DOOOOOOOONNNNEEEEE

I guess I’m too much for you, oooohhhhh
I’ve tried to turn your world upside down to hide that I’m irrelevant
Who the fuck are you to turn my emotions like this up
Your silence, I get it, it means it’s enough
I’m done, I’m not a weak girl, I’m tough, but I’m no fool to just keep giving away my love
You may have had me duped, you even told me that I was the sweetest to you
But enough is enough, I hope those dicks/guys will be there for you