How?

She watches him run around and play with their two little girls. She asks herself everyday how she got so entirely lucky. Her past is horrific in comparison to his. He wasn't all that perfect but in her eyes, who really is? She watches from afar as her oldest yells at her to come play. She stands there watching with a genuine smile stretched across her face.
He is amazing to them in every possible way. He loves them all with such tenderness and true emotion. She loves that about him. She also loves when he has a snarky reply and his right eyebrow dances upwards. As if to say, "Oh yeah?" with a smirk and a wink. She loves it.
She thinks aout how he has changed her life in such a prodigious way. Before she met him she was 17 years old with a baby on the way and no one to help her and encourage her to get up and try to be better. She met him and got her very own apartment and a job shortly afterwards and she was doing so well. They quit talking to one another for almost 8 to 9 months. In that time she had met up and dated a man she new in high school. He did not work out. She left with all of her and her babies stuff when he went out one day. Just took off and didn't look back! A month later she had gotten a message asking to meet up and every since then she has been in love since. July 4th of 2016 the spent the night swimming and relaxing under the fireworks and midnight sky. That was the very last day she felt relaxed and happy. No stress or dissapointment of life. Now she is a shell filled with continuous emotions. She stresses out over everything small but she has recieved help and its easing off but what no one else know is: 1. She may make jokes about death but she semi-means them and #2. She wants to give up and drop life, leave and never look back. Just go start over somewhere else where no one knows her.