Old friend

This poem was written based on, when i had a relapse with my mental health.

Old friend!
...................

Three steps forward two steps back!
For everyday that passes I'm slowly loosing track!
I feel dead inside
And many times I consider suicide.
which seems like the easy way out!
I know I'm stronger than that but I will always have doubt.

The pain inside has only spread,
As each day becomes more of a dread.
I didn't think id need him again
As I close my eyes and count to ten.

I take out my old friend,
Something that I didn't intend.
Shakey hands with tears rolling down my face
As I cut myself with deep disgrace.

One, two, three and four
I couldn't stop so I did more.
As it takes away all the pain
I watch my blood go down the drain.