Oh, to be a spider on the wall...

Hello.

I've watched you over the months of my life, setting up my home in your room. Observing you. Making note of your likes and dislikes. Distinguishing between who your friends and family are, seeing who you are close to.

I stay in my corner because when I make myself known, you throw things and try to kill me. But I know you don't mean it. Just as you don't mean the "Ew" when looking at me, because you do not know who I am.

I am a spider, and I...am in love with you.

When you leave the house, be it for school or work, I come down from my web and into your drawers. I hope for loose threads in clothing, and when I am lucky enough to find some I bite it off, later weaving it into my home. It makes me feel...we are one. As it should be. But you don't even know my name, history, or intentions.

My name is Clancy. My history consists only of my family, therefore it is a sad one indeed... After a couple months, I grew tired of hiding my affection for you. They always asked after seeing the far away look in my many eyes, "What are you thinking about?". I could only tell them a fly was buzzing around. That I wished to hold it captive in our home, poison and eat it. Tragically, the moment their attention was elsewhere I would sigh to myself and think...no, it wasn't a fly. It was you. You were the only thing on my mind, and it wasn't right to keep this secret.

So, I told them. My entire family. Needless to say they did not approve of such a thing; a spider and human relationship? That's crazy, they said. I'M crazy, they'd scold me. I still must disagree. They didn't see what I did in you; they didn't feelit...but I suppose that makes them correct. I am crazy. For you.

They felt dishonor, and moved to another corner. Another room, ultimately forgetting about me in the very end. But I suppose I deserve such treatment...I am a disgrace. Not because I fell for you, human. Because I never told you until now. Never put myself out there.

Shyness could be to blame I suppose. Even my culture. I told myself that's all it was, but deep down I know now. It's because humans view us as disgusting and scary, freak out when they wake to us crawling on them. I'll admit, I've done this. It wasn't to bring you out of your peaceful slumber; far from it in fact. I wanted to join you. To sleep beside you.

The first time I did this, you unknowingly rolled over and ripped one of my legs off. I was in agony for the longest time, yet I didn't hold it against you. Instead, aware I couldn't take another chance, I slept on you. When I felt you were moving I'd do the same, just trying to make things work.

Around then is when things became dangerous... My sister told another spider friend of hers from an entirely different house, my feelings for you. That friend told her brother, who was in a spider gang. "Black Widowers", they called themselves. Their webs were red, their rivals blue. They went by "The Wolves", but they are not needed in this message.

The Black Widowers gang leader, Nine Legs, was informed of this and sent the others to your house... Remember the morning you awoke with itchy red spots? Your mother told you they must have been spider bites. I can only say...I screamed for them to stop. I tried.

Your mother searched the room and, wanting to protect her offspring as one should, evicted me with force. I dodged many rolled up magazine swipes and left. My web was destroyed, my family wouldn't accept me back...I was without you. I knew it would hurt your family if I returned to your room. So I didn't.

As I write this, you are away. Yes, I know English and yes...you unknowingly taught me it. I'm currently in your room, on your keyboard leaving you this message. After this, I will go to the dogs water bowl and jump in.

I cannot live with you anymore, for it would hurt too many people. Yet I cannot live without you either, though it would only hurt me...the spider, you never got to know. I only ask that you leave my family be. They've done nothing wrong.

Oh, and one more thing... I've forgotten something. My intentions, while simple. They were to look out for you. I've failed miserably in such aspect, and for that I cannot apologize enough. I can never make up for it. I know the itching from those bites were bothersome for an entire day, but the eviction was forever, as well as a clear sign I am not welcome here...

I must go to the kitchen now...

-Clancy