NSFW

A series of unfortunate events.

NSFW
by Jack Magnificent

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who threw his hands up and said “fuck it”.
He got in his car, drove it real far,
Off a cliff where he kicked the bucket.

There once was a girl named Marie
Who took her boat out on the sea.
But Marie missed her mark, capsized by a shark,
And became a Marie-LT

I once knew a guy from Dubai
Who flew his plane up in the sky.
But the engine quit. He yelled “oh shit!”
And now he’s a raspberry pie.

Have you heard the story of Bill?
He drank well past his fill.
“Bottoms up”, he said to his cup,
And he’s in the bathroom still.

Now I know these stories are grim.
But just wait ‘till you hear about Jim.
His weight was way up ‘till a bomb blew up.
And now you could say Jim is slim.