A Garden Gnome's Lament

There's gnome business like show business.

I hear people passing by,
they walk up and down the street.
“Oh my goodness, look at that,
the garden gnomes are very sweet.”

And on reflection who would question
the validity of what they say?
We’re ageless, timeless, full of charm,
and we get fresh air every day.

But look beyond a summers day,
and natures beautiful display.
For lurking, hidden, underneath
is a gnome in complete dismay!

Patiently I sit all day
with a stick and a piece of string.
I’ve been fishing here for forty years
and never caught a thing!

A slug trail up my trouser leg,
and pigeon poo on my hat.
And if you think I smell a lot,
I was scent marked by the cat!

In howling gale, torrential rain,
in flood, in snow, in hail.
I dream that I might run away,
but I couldn’t catch a snail.

So think again as you pass by,
and stop and take a while
To wipe a tear from my eye,
and make an old gnome smile.