I Torture Myself

Love is at the forefront
and at the back of my mind
it is the lump in my throat
the stinging of my eyes
it rips through my heart
knots up my guts
keeps my voice quiet
and makes me feel sick
Love is expected
but I know not what it is
it hurts me and breaks me
and tears me apart
but don’t leave me, please
‘cause I’m scared and I’m lonely
and I love you a lot.