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Sometimes feeling small can make you feel safe. (mild language and mentions of violence) |
I am small. I am barely 5'3 and have a very petite body. I barely have two years left to grow and I know that unless I hit a growth spurt soon, I'm gonna be small for a while, aka the rest of my life. But I'm not mad at that. I like feeling small because it makes me feel safe and comforted. I use big blankets that are twice my size, I date boys (and girls) who are much taller than me, hell, I wear baggy sweatshirts that are like 3 sizes too big. The funny thing is, I'm not bullied or ridiculed for being small. The only thing close to bullying I get is my boyfriend teasing me and calling me adorable because I'm so tiny compared to him. But he doesn't do it to make me feel inferior, He does it because he knows me being the small one makes me feel safe, at times. I say at times because I have a temper. I like to start things with people, I yell a lot, and I bite. There are times when I wish I was as tall as all the people I argue with. I wish I could be as big and buff and scary as all the dudes I scream and kick at for bullying me throughout elementary and middle school. But I won't be and that's why I try to not pick as many fights as I want to. But I can't always control myself. I will let all my anger ball up and it comes out eventually and it can go one of two ways. I am seen as terrifying and people leave me the hell alone, or they think it's cute how angry I am, and it makes it worse. I will sometimes get into fist fights, or break down because I can't handle all my emotions at once. When that happens, my boyfriend is there to always comfort me, or fight when I can't. And I admire him for it. The point is, being small doesn't mean being inferior. Small people can do so much and can be one of the scariest forces you will ever meet. Don't let your tinyness be your weakness. Own how short you are, and make it why you're the boss. Because after all, the shorter you are, the closer you are to hell. |