Regret

There are times I lay awake at night and think of you. I wonder where the time has gone, when our relationship was much stronger...
I know that things are different now, yet I am often reminded of how you made me smile/made me feel,
but I start to wonder if it was ever real...Was I the only one to feel that way? What could I have done to convince you to stay?
It makes me sad, it makes me cry, to think that it was all a lie...
replaying conversations had, it never seemed to be so bad...
It hurts so much to hear/speak your name, even though I was the one who was defamed...
But deep within my heart where these emotions dwell, I always hope that you are well,
For you see, the way I feel remains the same. and to this day those emotions haven't changed.
I was too damn dense to realize just what it meant, that friendship was not my true intent...
so quick it grew, that before I knew...my heart itself belonged to you, and so,
I tried to express in thought and rhyme what I could not express at any time.
Through mediums oft used before, my inspiration, I did (and still) adore.
Recklessly did I pursue, what others might consider taboo...such perceptions are for fools.
For within your embrace, all my pain/prior fears accumulated throughout the years completely disappeared...
I felt whole, each and every time, as if I were home.
A memory which haunts my days and nights, triggered by songs that make me cry, and ignites the thoughts inside my mind.
reminding me of the lessons learned, and your enmity that I have earned since...
A prince of manners, some might say, I will always regret the way we are not even friends today.
A bitter pill to swallow to be sure, until some future day should we meet again, in this world or the next.
A pretext, for I hope you can forgive the actions that I, to this day, relive.