Vacuum Cleaner Lament

The Hoover vacuum is overwhelmed.

I am merely vacuum cleaner
sold today by Stanley Steamer,
to a home that needs attention
full of dirt I dare not mention.

I see popcorn pieces scattered
(how the neat of clean is shattered!)
I am leery of upchucking
from the scraps that do need sucking.

Give me one attachment nifty;
I will clean up in a jiffy.
My one task is overriding
for the odds that are presiding.

Yet I’m overwhelmed as Hoover,
thinking I need Allied Mover
for this passel of pollution—
I am doubtful of solution.

Fasten tight the bag internal
(I perceive a job infernal.)
As the dust exceeding awful
enters me in gaging mouthful.

Ready, willing I was able
to suck grime beneath the table.
But as Hoover, I am beaten
due to all the dirt I’ve eaten.



24 Lines
Writer’s Cramp Co-Winner
5-4-20