Heavens Above

God was spending some time out on one of the balconies of his beautiful palace, gazing thoughtfully to the west. The afternoon sun was low and soon it would be nightfall. He subconsciously scratched his beard as his gaze drifted southward. There was just enough light to make out the mansion on the hill below.

It had been another perfect day in heaven, although He was feeling somewhat anxious. As a result, the corner of His left eye twitched, a condition He had picked up during the first days of making heaven and earth when He had commanded, “Let there be light!” Because it had been dark for so long, the sudden brightness temporarily blinded His eyes, and the twitching had been with Him whenever He was stressed ever since.

Even though His eyesight was beginning to fail Him, He could still make out the beautiful gardens spreading out between His palace and His only son's mansion below. The blooming flowers and lush fruit trees were always full of His favourite fruit. A stream ran in the valley between the two hills that was fresh and clear and babbled softly as it made its way towards the suburbs.

God thought about His palace and wondered if it was too ostentatious, while His only son Jesus, only had a mansion on the hill below.

But Jesus seemed happy with the arrangement and shaking this negativity away He thought, “Well, I am God, and I suppose I need to accept living in the palace as one of the perks.”

This eased His mind and the anxiety He had felt disappeared into evening's perfect stillness.

********

Jesus was washing his face and hands in preparation for the evening's remembrance. He was having a shindig tonight...an observance and tribute to his last supper on earth over two thousand years before.

It was an annual event, with all twelve disciples invited and Thomas, Simon the Zealot, Philip, Simon Peter, Matthias, Matthew, Jude, John, James, Son of Alpheus, James, Son of Zebedee, Bartholomew, and Andrew all being regulars. But each year it seemed Judas Iscariot was busy on the night, and in all the years since had never attended, much to everyone's disappointment because forgiveness was his before he had even betrayed Jesus.

Despite this, the group of friends always had a good time remembering the events and circumstances leading up to the crucifixion. After everyone had been made welcome and the wine began to flow, it had become the custom for all in attendance to play party games, which would begin with the 'Carry the Cross' relay and after this, move onto everyone's favourite 'Forgive Them Father', a guessing game of what particular sin was pasted to their foreheads.

At the end of the night when the guests began to leave, Jesus would stand on his front lawn to wave goodbye, and as he did so, he pondered his place in heaven. He was tired of being second in command and felt he deserved better than living on the lower hill with only a mansion to live in. His eyes shifted upward and beyond the darkness, where the bright lights of the palace he so yearned for, but could never have, shined like a beacon. And later, as he laid down on his king-sized straw mattress and closed his eyes, he dreamed of one day being up on the highest hill and living in the beautiful palace.

*******

Life in the ghettos of heaven was strained to say the least. These misfits, freaks and deviants had found a back door to eternal life. Then God, in His wisdom, decided they should be allowed to stay, but not allowed to live where and how they wanted. Restrictions on where they could and could not wander became a very real bee in the bonnet of all those who repented late. In their minds, they took advantage of a glaring loophole...and just because they may have been murderers, rapists and even some child molesters, should not mean they are punished for eternity because of God's oversight.

Word around the ghettos was that God was too proud to admit He was wrong to give anyone, even those who least deserved it, and were by and large monsters, a chance at eternal life in heaven. And now, instead of accepting them, He designates where they can and cannot go, then hides in His palace to avoid any criticism He may receive from those sympathetic to the ghetto people's plight. And, as the unrest grew, so too did the curiosity of what lay beyond the walls that dominated the ghetto's skyline.

*******

All the angels knew to make themselves scarce whenever God became angry. They also knew when the humans re-wrote the Old Testament and made it a new user-friendly version to help recruit more people and bring in more shekels, didn't mean a new more user-friendly God came along with it. Everybody knew what happened to Lucifer because he laughed at God, his closest and most trusted friend.

On the day Lucifer was cast to hell, God was in a rage. His angels had left the palace for safer grounds, with only Lucifer remaining. Lucifer thought his position as God's right-hand man...His musician and best friend would see him ride out God's fury. Nobody remembers why God was so angry on that particular day, but everyone remembers what happened between the two best friends.

Lucifer approached God and tried to placate his friend. He asked God if there was anything he could do to help...offering to stand in for Him so He could take a few days off to relax and get His mind off things. But God mistook Lucifer's kind offer and thought he was trying to take over heaven and earth, accusing His best friend of treachery. Lucifer was taken aback by this accusation, but he didn't abandon his old friend and instead, remained in the hope God would calm down, and in time, regret His words. But, instead of calming down, God's rage intensified. Lucifer looked at God and laughed, as God's behaviour was becoming more and more ridiculous by the second.

I imagine if Lucifer could go back and do it all again, he wouldn't laugh at God the way he did. I also imagine how shocked he would have been when he felt God's first blow hit him in his beautiful face. And, it was not the last he felt that fateful day, as God's fury exploded because of Lucifer's mirth. As Lucifer lay on the palace floor battered and beaten, God stood over him and began to speak Old Testament style, then, with great vengeance and furious anger, cast His friend down and through the gates of hell.

*******

Heaven's ghettos spread around the boundaries set by the wall and as far away as God could make them from the central location where He, His only son and their most devout followers lived. The ghetto residents were limited to staying outside of an invisible line running parallel to, and only a mile or so out from the wall and was marked by colour-coded street signs. Anyone caught entering the restricted zone was at first given a stern warning, but any further infringements would see them sent straight to hell.

The ghetto residents may not have been happy with the restrictions placed on them by God's laws, but they were not prepared to risk the punishment of a torturous existence and eternal damnation, which everyone knew to be the lot for anyone unfortunate enough to end up in a place like hell.

They had begrudgingly accepted the restrictions, but now, more and more were voicing their displeasure at what they saw as a grave injustice. Some of the most senior men were organising the protest. Gathering others willing to stand up to God's harsh rules to protest at one of the restricted zone's boundary lines. Some of the nearby suburban residents were bringing the protesters food and water and offering their support. So, not only was the rising protest over the restricted zone becoming worse by the day, but now it seems that some of God's own people were prepared to stand with them.

God knew of the situation as He was using His power to see all and know all...and what He saw and knew seriously concerned Him. He knew the protest could quickly turn to rebellion, but was loath to use His powers to suppress the uprising unless there was no other way. The Wall Agreement of 2019, which had now been signed by all the disputants involved, made the walls a permanent feature and removed the threat of future wall wars. But the price of peace meant limited space in heaven.

“Forgiveness is one thing,” God thought, but forgetting what the ghetto residents had done on earth before they found the unfortunate loophole in His plan, was something else altogether. He knew He would never accept them as equals, but with these new developments changing by the day, He had to do something. Then, an idea came to Him like a revelation...send in the one man who had the calm, compassion and composure to negotiate a solution with the ghetto residents and bring an end to the protest.

*******

Jesus was sitting alone in his mansion's spa bath, as was the norm for him nowadays. Once upon a time, he would have had several friends over on an afternoon like this, EVEN on occasion allowing them to bring their wives. The group would play air hockey or table tennis or whatever the visitors wanted to do for entertainment. Jesus even managed to book Elvis for a short set on his birthday several years before.

But his situation had changed and he was not as approachable now. There were concerns perhaps Jesus had become depressed, but he waved off such suggestions, citing constipation as one of the reasons for the change in his demeanour. He had never revealed his dark secret about his feelings towards his only father....not even to his therapist, who suspected there were some underlying daddy issues but could not pry it from Jesus' stubborn, but beautiful head.

He was just about to take a pee in the water when he was surprised by his cell phone ringing loudly beside him on the spa's surrounds. He had no clue about technology and struggled just to turn the thing on and off. But, convenience and God's insistence he is always contactable, made it a necessary evil for him. However, Jesus did wish he knew how to turn the ringtone volume down to a level he could bear.

His caller ID told a familiar story. Jesus raised the phone to his ear and answered his only father's call. God explained the situation to him and told him to go to the ghetto in the morning to see if his expertise could find a solution God could live with. After telling his only father he would do whatever he could to bring peace to heaven, he hung up his phone...and lost it. Swearing loudly and using the Lord's name in vain several times before stubbing his little toe on the sliding glass door as he entered the mansion from the pool area. Again he swore, but this time he kept it more towards the lower end of the blasphemy scale because something told him having a close family member who is all-seeing and knowing, might do more than a little toe next time.

As he always did when passing the windows that faced his only father's palace, he stared longingly at the grandeur and style for a few moments, before continuing on to his on-suite bathroom for a shower and shave. These days, he preferred a clean shave, rather than the feral hippie look which was so popular around Nazareth all those years before. He stared at his reflection in the mirror, imagining the look returning one day as he began fantasising about how popular he was back in those heady days of Messiah worship...and all the perks that came with it.

He could walk into his local cheesemaker and with a word he could get what he came for...the oldest and crustiest cheese they had kept just for him. And at half the price the Romans were paying...if they were offered any cheese at all. But, Jesus knew to avoid those Spartans after his purchase because it was the stuff of legend the ability of the Roman nose, which it was rumoured could smell the pungent stench of cheese from over a mile away.

After Jesus had cleaned up and eaten, he began thinking about the task assigned by his only father. He knew the types he would have to beg and grovel to in the morning. He, the second-highest and second-most important man in heaven sucking up to thieves, murderers and even some child molesters. He thought about his only father and how much he wanted to leave second to third to be first.

But how could that ever happen? God is all-seeing and all-knowing. How can anyone shift Him out so he can move in? He wasn't tired, so he watched a reality series on TV called 'The Human Plague'. Then, when he realised it was a rerun and he knew who died a horrible death, he went to bed and dreamed of becoming the most powerful man in heaven.

*******

The catapult the ghetto protest group had built was called a Ballista. It was constructed from large timber beams acquired from a construction site deep inside the restricted zone by former thieves who had relapsed for just one night. The elastic was taken from bras donated by wives, sisters, mothers, daughters and girlfriends willing to support the cause. There were four men standing around their contraption oohing and ahhing at their handiwork. At homes all across the ghetto, wives, sisters, mothers, daughters and girlfriends were not so enthused but realised everyone had to play their part in finding them all the freedom they deserved.

“Do you think it will be powerful enough? said a former rapist.

“I'm not sure...but we certainly will give it a crack.” said a former murderer.

“I wonder how old the girl was who offered us this bra, but it was too small for us to use?' said a perhaps not so former child molester.

“Jack, put that bra down, and for God's sake, stay away from the playground near the launch site...we have a job to do.”

They all glowered at him with killer eyes and he moved nervously from foot to foot as all men do when they have made a grave mistake and are confronted with their crime.

“Jack, go and get the trolley for this catapult while we take care of this lowlife who would dare wish good fortune on God.”

As Jack left the area to retrieve the trolley, he heard deathly screams coming from the building he had just left. He thought about this group of murderers, thieves, rapists and the occasional child molester, who were so much better than the rulers of this place. He couldn't wait to overthrow those in charge, so he could become what he had always wanted but was denied by the bigoted and hurtful humans back on earth...a school teacher.

********

The large group of men were drenched in sweat and stood atop a huge mound of dirt. It would have been fifty feet high if they had more dirt, but they had run out at around twenty feet, so they had to be content with what He who will never be mentioned again by those who want to keep on living eternally, had given them.

The catapult was manoeuvred atop the hill and aimed in the direction of the wall. It had a swivel mount on the balancing point and the men tilted it back and pulled the elastic backwards until it was secured in a rudimentary trigger system. A series of different-sized stones were lined up at the base of the weapon, with multiples of each size grouped together.

They needed to find out which of the stones, if any, could be launched over the top of the wall. The larger the stone that could clear the top, the better chance it would be found by whoever was on the other side. The largest stone was placed into the cradle and fired. It sailed through the air but hit the wall well short of the top. Firing successive stones, getting smaller each time when at last, one of the smaller stones cleared the top.

The entire team, who were watching with anticipation, screamed out in celebration as the stone disappeared into the nothingness beyond. And then, the moment all of the work and sacrifice had come down to, a note with their message was bound to the stone with leftover bra strap, placed onto the contraption and launched...then, the waiting game began.

********

Abdul-Waajid was searching along the great wall, looking for relics left behind by its builders. In the past, he had found strange tokens and tools they must have lost during construction. When he did find something, he would bring it home to show his family. His father would then take it to the Imam to see of what significance it might be.

It was getting late, and he was about to turn for home when a strange-looking stone caught his attention. As he approached, he noticed it had something wrapped around it that looked like cloth. The stone was a little too big for him to carry, so he began to remove the strange bands that held the cloth in place. Soon, he held the cloth in his hands, and as he opened it, he saw writing of a type he had never seen before. Something in his spirit told him this was of great importance, and he began running towards his home, the cloth safely stored in his carry bag.

As he arrived home, he called excitedly for his father to look at the strange thing he had found. His father came immediately, as he knew his boy was always searching for treasure, after all, he had named his son Abdul-Waajid for a very good reason...it means 'the finder'.

*******

As the morning sun rose over the wall to the east, Jesus opened his eyes, and for a brief moment, thought his dream had been real, and he was in the palace at last. Then, as his head cleared, and the realisation it had just been a dream became all too real, he thought about the day ahead and the horrible task his only father had assigned him. But, he was not about to disobey Him, so, he began to gather what he needed for the journey and made the call to Yellow Chariots to pick him up from his mansion.

On the journey to the ghetto, the Yellow Chariot driver chatted incessantly about things Jesus had no interest in, and he was glad to finally arrive at the Office of the Liaison for Ghetto Control located in the heart of the business district. After the formalities were done, Jesus asked to speak to the protest group's leaders and they were summoned. It wasn't long before three men were seated in front of Jesus. Demands were made for the freedom to wander throughout heaven, and not be bound by the present restrictions.

Jesus made concessions to open up a larger area than they had at present if the protests were ended, but after some time, Jesus realised they were not going to budge from their demands for absolute freedom to go wherever and whenever they pleased. The meeting ended without any progress being made. Disheartened by his lack of success, Jesus thanked the Liaison Officer for organising things on such short notice, and he left to flag a Yellow Chariot to return to his mansion and call in his report to his only father.

As Jesus waited by the roadside, he heard someone call out his name.

“Jesus...Jesus of Nazareth? I haven't seen you since you were a young boy.”

The man approached Jesus and held out his hand in greeting. He was tall and thin, well-muscled with dark hair and a small goatee beard. His clothes were smart but casual and fit him like a glove. There was something familiar about this stranger, but Jesus couldn't put a name to him. He took the man's hand and as their eyes met, memories flooded back to him...memories of a man who was like an uncle to him. They had been as close as family once upon a time, but then, his uncle and his father had argued...and his uncle had been cast out of heaven and down through the gates of hell.

“Lucifer?” Jesus asked in surprise.

“It is I, Jesus.”

“What are you doing here in heaven? You were cast out...never to return.”

“And where do you suppose hell is exactly, Jesus?”

Jesus had never thought about that. He just assumed it was a long way from heaven.

“These walls which surround us all...who do you think built them and what purpose do you think they serve?”

The question was asked with a wry smile by Lucifer...as if he already knew the answer.

“I have no idea...why don't you tell me, Uncle.”

“Let's go find a place we can talk...we have a lot of catching up to do.”

As the two men made their way through the throng of people heading home after the day's tasks had been completed, there was an atmosphere of change in the air. For some, a chance at redemption, and for those willing to put it all on the line, a chance to fulfil a life's ambition.

*******

“It's English, Zarah.”

“What does it say?”

Abdul-Waajid's father had brought the cloth with the strange writing to Imam Idris for him to examine and possibly decipher.

“Very strange...this may be a joke played by teenagers...it cannot be real.”

Zarah was looking intently at the cloth, still trying to make out a word or phrase, even though it had been in his possession for a whole day and night...and despite the fact he could not read English.

The Imam's forehead creased with concentration, looking for any telltale signs of Arabic within the letters of the English words, but there were none.

There were few who could read or write English in heaven, and he knew most of them. He also knew none would play a prank of this kind. He concluded the message on the cloth was not a joke, and he had no choice but to accept from where it had come...the other side of the wall.

His common sense told him it was impossible...everyone knew heaven was only for those of Islamic faith. Nobody of Christian faith or of any other had ever passed through heaven's gates...yet, here it was, a message from the other side of the wall...and they say they are Christians.

He had to make a decision about who to tell this news. Allah? Mohammad? Tell no one and destroy the cloth before the news broke they were not alone in heaven?

He turned and looked at his friend and said, “Zarah, you must not speak of this until I return from the city.”

Zarah, still not knowing what was written on the cloth, knew enough to know it was serious.

“As you wish, my friend.”

“I will be back in three days. Tell Abdul-Waajid it was a joke played by erroneous men with nothing better to do.”

Zarah wished his friend the Imam safe travels, “May Allah be with you, Idris.”

But, it was not Allah he was going to see. He instinctively knew it was Mohammad he had to share this message with.

And as Imam Idris packed his donkey for the trip, Allah's words to them all circled his consciousness.

“Only a Muslim can enter the kingdom of heaven...only I am the true God.”

And now he knew Allah to be a liar.

********

God looked at the time. It was 7.30 pm and His only son Jesus should have called by now. God wanted to know how the negotiations had gone and to see if there had been a solution found. He called Jesus, but his phone was switched off or not in a service area.

God muttered something about Telcos and swore at the lack of coverage in THIS heaven.

“Oh well,” He thought. “It's lucky I am God and I can see all and know all when the phone service is down.”

In His mind, God searched for His only son, but couldn't find him.

“Hmmm...that's never happened before."

He tried again, but His only son was still not in His see or know.

“Impossible!” But try as He did, Jesus was missing from heaven...he was missing from everywhere.

God knew of only two people who could hide Jesus from His see and know. He went to his private safe and opened it. Inside were some baby pictures of His only son, three tablets leftover from the Ten Commandments that were eventually deemed as not so command-worthy, a small but powerful Trident presented to Him by Poseidon, and a cell phone.

He took the phone out of the safe, hit the red button and it began to pulse...on and off it went until it stopped and a voice said, “Hi, you have reached Allah...leave a message and I'll get back to you.”

God left a message and asked for an urgent callback, and an hour later his cell rang.

“Allah...my only son is missing. Do you know of his whereabouts?

Allah answered in a grave tone, “I'm sorry my friend, but he is not with me.

God sighed, and both knew then who Jesus, His only son, was with.

“Lucifer is in town,” said Allah.

“It appears he is.”

A feeling of foreboding came over God as He hung up from the call. Lucifer had become a powerful force since God had banished him. And now, he had taken His only son prisoner...likely held for some fiendish plot for revenge. All He could do now was wait until he made his demands, and hope He had what Lucifer wanted in exchange for His only sons' life.

*******

They made their way to a tea house a block down from the Office of the Liaison for Ghetto Control. Lucifer ordered them a pot of their best tea and they seated themselves at a table in the far corner of the room.

“You look well Lucifer...time has been kind to you.”

Lucifer gave Jesus a devilish grin, “As it has you, Jesus. How is your father? Keeping well I hope.”

“He is still the same old God, Lucifer...a control freak.”

“Yes, well...I can attest to that. I offered to take some of His workload, which didn't go down well at all. He began raging about me trying to take over and I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous that was. And that was when He sent me to hell.”

“I am sorry for what He did to you, Lucifer. His temper back then was renowned. He has calmed a little over the last two thousand years.”

“I would hope so, Jesus. I never thought He would do that to me...we were like family.”

“We still are Uncle. Just because God had a problem with you, didn't mean I did.”

“I know Jesus. None of this was your doing...so no need for you to feel bad. I have something I want to show you if you have time.”

“God is expecting my report in the next few hours, but for once, He can wait.”

“Then let's go...it isn't far from here.”

********

Mohammad lived in a lovely residence not far from Allah's opulent palace. Imam Idris had sent word ahead of his arrival, asking to discuss a delicate and private matter with the Prophet. They had met several times before at holy times and Mohammad had always found the Imam to be wise and unafraid to speak his mind...which impressed Mohammad, as so many others were too intimidated to do so.

The Imam was met at the gates and shown to Mohammad's inner sanctum, and after being offered refreshments, was asked to wait. When the great Prophet entered the room, the servants and guards left the two men to speak alone.

“Mohammad...I bring news of a message which was recently found by a local boy next to the wall near our village. It was wrapped around a stone and appears to be written in English. Only the boy, his father and myself know of this and they will not speak of it until my return."

The Imam removed the cloth from his travel bag and gave it to Mohammad. After some time examining the message, he looked up at the Imam...his eyes told the story of a man perplexed by what he saw.

The Prophet Mohammad finally spoke. His words were measured as the realisation of what this message meant to all who live in heaven became apparent.

“Thank you, Idris...for keeping this between us and not allowing any word to get out to the residents of heaven. The implications are staggering and who knows what effect this could have if word were to get out before we are ready to announce this news to all.”

Imam Idris bowed his head in acknowledgement of Mohammad's grace.

“I will have you resupplied for the journey back to your village. This message I will bring to Allah's attention and find out what he knows of the Christians who also reside here in heaven.”

The meeting now over, the two men returned to their respective duties. One having done his to the best of his ability and the other to face his most arduous test yet...to confront Allah on what appeared to be the biggest lie ever told in the history of heaven and earth.

*******

Lucifer and Jesus made their way through the now dwindling crowd in the ghetto, flagged a Yellow Chariot and following the restricted zone line a mile out from the wall, began heading north. The street signs were marked in red or green. Red indicates you were in the inner or restricted zone and green the outer or ghetto zone. These markings were for the residents of the ghettos only, as the people of the inner zone had no restrictions placed upon them.

As they made their way, Lucifer gave directions to the driver and told him to stop at a building in a derelict area far to the north of God's palace. Lucifer paid the driver and they entered a run-down building. It appeared to be abandoned and Jesus began to wonder what they could possibly be doing in such a place when Lucifer turned and spoke.

“Prepare yourself, Jesus. What I am about to show you will make you question all you have ever been led to believe.”

He led Jesus into an apparently empty office area and through an inner door. Inside was a large walk-in safe door and Lucifer began to spin the tumbler to a combination he obviously knew.

He turned a handle below the tumbler, the door opened and Lucifer then said, “Jesus, welcome to hell.”

The men stepped inside, the door closed automatically and they began falling through a nexus between the worlds of heaven and hell. After what seemed only a few seconds they suddenly stopped their fall and stood in what appeared to be the same place, but when the door opened, they walked out and into a street party.

People were dressed in brightly coloured clothes, music was playing and it was as close to a carnival as Jesus had ever seen. People were laughing and the atmosphere was intoxicating as the two men joined the masses. Jesus' jaw told the story of someone who had believed his whole life of the misery and suffering of all who enter hell...who now saw the truth, hell was one big party town.

Everywhere they went, people were saying hello to Lucifer, thanking him for making hell such a great place to live and welcoming the new guest by grabbing him by the hands and dancing with an astonished Jesus. Lucifer laughed as Jesus fell headlong into the joy of what he was experiencing. Before he knew it, the sun was rising and the throng of party-goers began to make their way to their homes. Then, Lucifer took Jesus to his residence so they could both get some well-earned sleep.

********

The stone came down with such force that it destroyed the shade cloth and frame which covered the sandpit in the playground near the launch site in the ghetto. Fortunately, it was a school day and there were not many children playing at the time...and none young enough to be in the sandpit. But the commotion these truants made alerted the day watch there was mail.

When the leaders had all arrived at the protest group's meeting hall, the stone with the message was placed in the middle of a plastic table surrounded by plastic chairs...the irony of cheap furnishings with possibly the most important discovery ever made in heaven did not escape some in attendance...while for others, it just sailed over their dim-witted heads.

A former rapist began to remove the thread, which held the cloth to the stone. All were watching for his reaction, but he was stony-faced as he read and then pass the message onto a former murderer...who read with the same lack of emotion. Then, as the cloth went from one ghetto resident to the next, they all sat dumbfounded, as if hypnotised by the words.

Then, one of the least educated of those in attendance asked for it to be read to him because if one is illiterate on earth, then they are also illiterate in heaven and perfection is just a gimmick used for recruitment purposes only.

Jack, who is possibly, but still looking less likely to be a former child molester, read aloud, “You are not alone in heaven, we are Islamic and we have all been lied to by our respective Gods. There could be others behind walls who know nothing about us. Call 55526473 during office hours and ask for Mohammad so we can discuss the implications for all Christians and Muslims here in heaven.”

The illiterate could not read, but he was not stupid and said, “Muslims can't get into heaven, only Christians can.”

Which shot down the theory of his having more intelligence than first thought.

The former rapist, who had appointed himself leader, as nobody else wanted the job said, “God has lied to us all, but for now, we need to keep a lid on the news until we can speak to our neighbours and find out what they know.”

As it was after 5:00 p.m. by this stage, and being a Friday, the call couldn't be made until Monday. So, they all went home and after the obligatory Friday evening domestic disputes about who does more for whom, and what TV show they would watch, the lucky ones, men who allowed their partners to watch the Friday night rom-com instead of the game, had make-up sex before sleeping. While the others, who insisted on the game, went to bed and slept...just not as well as the lucky ones did. This proves luck can sometimes be manufactured by compromise and good judgment.

********

Lucifer lived in a modest three-bedroom townhouse near the centre of hell. There was no outlandish decorum and no expensive vehicle.

As Jesus opened his eyes, he had to think for a moment about where he was. Then, the memories of the night before flooded back to his slightly hungover brain, and a smile came like he had not known in a very long time.

He went to the bathroom, and while he was relieving himself he wondered if Lucifer was up. Jesus looked at his reflection, and to his surprise, the smile had not yet left his face. Lucifer had rustled up some clean clothes before they had slept and Jesus went for a shower.

As he washed, his thoughts turned to his only father, God. He knew He would try to use all see all know to locate him, but Lucifer had told Jesus it would not find him here in hell. It was the first time he had defied his only father. Jesus knew his disappearance would be causing God concern, and as he towelled himself dry, so too his own apprehension grew.

As Jesus left the bathroom to find Lucifer, he was struck with a smell wafting over his nasal passages which made his mouth instantly begin to water. He had never smelled anything so good in his two thousand fifty-three years. He followed the scent down the stairs and into the kitchen below.

“Good morning Jesus...did you sleep well?"

Jesus didn't answer...all his attention was on the thin strips of meat, eggs and frying tomatoes on the skillet.

Lucifer looked at his guest with glee, “You being a Jew and all, I thought you might like to try some bacon. It's the best hangover food there is...all the fat soaks up the alcohol.”

Jesus knew he was not to allow any pork to cross his lips, but he did have a hangover...and he was in hell...with none other than Lucifer himself doing the cooking...and there was that smell.

“I slept very well thank you, Lucifer...and I WILL try some of the bacon and the eggs and some fried tomato as well.”

“There's waffles, maple syrup and freshly squeezed orange juice on the table out on the balcony."

“You are too kind...and nothing like the stories.”

“Oh, once upon a time I was truly evil. When I arrived here, the place was just like the old testament vowed. I have to be honest, Jesus, I was very angry with your father and I wanted to cause His creations harm so He would suffer. But, after some time passed, I realised He didn't care as much about them as He used to. The novelty had worn off, and so it did for me."

"Men were doing to each other far worse than I ever could, so I left them to their fate and began making changes here so it would be more comfortable for me. Then, as more and more of the hell-bound arrived, I actually got to know a few and we became friends...and here we are. I let them do what they want within reason. Most see the benefit of remaining here, or the threat I use if they don't play nicely...they'll be sent straight to heaven."

“But you would never...”

“Oh, Jesus, I am known for many cruelties, but even I have limits.”

The two old friends laughed at the joke, but it struck a chord with Jesus. Lucifer was right...heaven had become hell, and hell had become heaven.

“Any talk of when the old man will retire?”

“He would never hand responsibilities over to anyone, not even me.”

“Well, I think we need to put our heads together and see if we can offer Him a prize worth more than His heaven and earth.”

“Nothing is worth more to Him than remaining the creator of all things.”

“I have an idea Jesus...but it will require your cooperation and your trust in me.”

*******

At 9.10 the following Monday morning, the former rapist dialled 55526473 and a woman answered with, “Sabah al-khayer mokatab Mohamed.”

The former rapist didn't understand Arabic, but he tried speaking to the woman in English, hoping she would understand.

“I would like to speak to Mr Mohammad, please.”

There was a pause and then a man's voice came over the phone, speaking perfect English with a deep and rich Middle Eastern accent. “My friends the Christians have found our note.”

“Yes, Mr Mohammad."

“Please, please...call me Mohammad. I no longer seek the formalities of the position and believe all men are equal before Allah...and I believe God should now be included as well.”

“We are all for equality, but unfortunately, God doesn't think as you do Mohammad.”

“And so too Allah is not entertaining of the principle...but what can we do? When a God values himself more than his own people?"

“We have been peacefully protesting for months, but the only acknowledgement we have had was a meeting with Jesus and other than allowing us some extra freedom within heaven, we did not receive what we deserve...the freedom to go where we want within heaven, without any threats to send us to hell.”

“And now it seems heaven is a lot bigger than any of us thought.”

After Mohammad had received the note from Imam Idris, he had been on his way to see Allah when he had doubts this would be a wise thing to do. Allah must know what lies beyond the walls, and who was behind them. So, it made more sense to find out everything he could from the Christians before confronting Allah with his findings. Mohammad had organised the reply which was catapulted over the wall, and at that moment, the first cross heavens telegraph service was born.

The two men spoke for hours and there came to be an unlikely friendship between a Christian former rapist and an Islamic former Prophet. Then, an idea was birthed between them...to one day tear down the walls and shake hands across the rubble and the ignorance that had built them.

*******

A lone figure stood at the palace gates. God stared from a balcony high up on one of the towers, and even though His eyesight was failing and it was some distance between the two of them, God knew who it was. God commanded the gates open and the figure made his way into the palace grounds towards the main entrance...familiar with all which lay before him.

He did not hesitate as he entered the palace doors, entering the room where he had last stood before his exile. The old man stood before him, though His back was turned as the man approached.

“It has been a long time since we have spoken Lucifer, I hope you are well.

“I am, old friend. I think you know why I am here.”

“My only son...he is well?”

“He is. In fact, he is here in heaven as we speak.”

God immediately used all see all know to search for His only son, but it wasn't necessary.

A voice came from the shadows behind the long drapes at the end of the room.

“Hello father, I have returned.”

God turned towards the familiar voice. The relief on His face was equalled only by the words that followed, “My only son...”

And, as father and son embraced, Lucifer was overjoyed to see the two reunited.

God then turned to Lucifer with a look of confusion, “What is this about, Lucifer?”

“Many things my friend...but the first is the most important.”

The two men stood only a short distance from each other as Lucifer's words fell upon God's ears. “I forgive you.”

When God heard those words, all the shame and guilt He had carried for what had happened to Lucifer disappeared, and the two men embraced...both glad that the bitterness between them and Lucifer's exile was now over.

And, as God put one arm around the shoulder of His only son, and the other around His old friend, He said, “Come, Lucifer...come, Jesus...we have much to discuss .”

********

“I want to know who built the walls which surround us?”

Allah smiled at his guest, but it was not the smile of a friend who hadn't seen the other for a long time, as was the case for them. It was more polite than anything and reminded Mohammad not to push too hard, or the consequences would be severe.

“The walls, Mohammad? What interest do you have in walls?” Allah sneered.

Answering a question with a question would only delay, but not halt Mohammad's purpose.

“I have had an interest since an Imam brought me a message from the Christians who live on the other side of the wall.”

“Oh, that,” said Allah. His tone conceded something but also conveyed something...dismissive and menacing.

Mohammad knew this tone and its underlying meaning, but he had known Allah for millennia and had a good understanding of just how far he could push before he would feel Allah's sting.

Once upon a time, Mohammad's impetuous nature would have had him saying things he would later regret, but, all these years later, he just stood staring at Allah, awaiting more information than he had received so far.

A staring match began...eyes as black as coal burned into the others' until a truce of sorts came.

“Come...let me explain...after we have had refreshments.”

Mohammad knew this to be a win and smiled at the old man as softly as he could for fear of revealing his true smile...one of impending victory.

*******

“So, you are telling me heaven is split up into many areas, and behind each is a group of people who believe they are the only ones in heaven?"

Jesus' question floated in the air between the three of them, and neither God nor Lucifer knew whom the question was directed towards.

God then spoke, “I am sorry for not telling you sooner, Jesus, but this information was delicate to those who believed, and the less who knew, the less chance the pact would be broken between the warring parties.”

"And who was at war with whom?" Jesus was astounded that all this time he had no clue about any of this.

Again God spoke to His only son, "When I created heaven and earth...well, I suppose I have to admit I didn't work alone on the project. There was Allah, Shiva and Poseidon, Akal Murat, Yahweh and even though he is technically not a God, Buddha lent a hand as well."

Jesus sat with his jaw agape, wondering if this was some kind of joke, or if he was dreaming and would wake up to his normal life again.

God continued, "Of course, I was the main creator and the rest were basically sidekicks. So, when the work was done and the arguments began over who had the right to heaven and who should go and create their own brand of afterlife and take their followers with them, I did what I had to do and took all of heaven for my Christians."

"Allah was the most powerful other than myself, and the one I feared the most. So, when he threatened jihad on all Christians, I had to rethink My plan. So, we negotiated. Allah was not happy about the others being left out and becoming a possible threat in the future. In the end, they were all invited to the talks, which averted a war, but saw heaven split into areas by the walls. As far as I was concerned, it was only supposed to be a temporary thing until the others had created their own places, but they never did, and so, in 2019, an agreement was entered into by all parties, making the walls a permanent fixture and ensuring all those who entered heaven, did so with the knowledge their God was the only one."

"Including us." Jesus' voice trailed off into believable disbelief.

Jesus was trying to figure out why he hadn't asked about the walls before, when Lucifer seemed to read his mind and said, "Each God was required to thoroughly wash the minds of all who lived behind the walls, so they wouldn't question what lay beyond. Which was an easy task because most had already been brainwashed long before entering heaven."

Lucifer continued, "The ghetto residents were the first Christians in heaven where their minds were so filthy, no amount of brainwashing could cleanse them of the truth. And now, they are aware of the Muslims...and the Muslims are aware of us."

God felt His fury rising at the ghetto residents, who had now gone too far. But as quickly as His fury came, it was gone...and in that moment, God knew He was no longer in control.

Then Lucifer, seeing his old friend sinking into the abyss of acceptance, changed the subject. “Of course, a place had to be specially built for me...hell, right here in heaven. Hidden away behind one of the walls where I was to spend eternity.”

“But, how did you escape?” Jesus' question also intrigued God and brought Him out of His dark thoughts.

“Yes Lucifer, how did you get out?”

Lucifer's smile could not be contained as he explained, “I didn't sit behind those walls angry and twiddling my thumbs. My powers have grown and my determination never faltered. Each and every day I tried different ways to breach those walls and the powers that held me there, and eventually, I found a way.”

“Obviously.” God didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but He did know the revolution had arrived...and His only son and best friend were to be its new leaders.

*******

Mohammad watched as Allah dismissed the palace servants and guards and shuffled around to the other side of an ornate table, which looked like it was taken from Ali Baba's cave. The entire room was just as spectacular. But Mohamed paid little attention to the grandeur of the palace and focused on the matter at hand.

"I must apologise to you, Mohammad. There were good reasons why this secret had to be kept from everyone, and I gave my word it would be so...until now."

Allah began to explain how heaven and earth came about, and why he had lied for so long.

After he had finished, Mohammad saw for the very first time something akin to weariness in the eyes of the only God he had ever known. Before their meeting, Mohammad had felt some resentment towards Allah for speaking untruths for so long. But now, he had a better understanding of his reasons and the close bond the two had shared was now back. The mood then became one of forgiveness and a desire for change.

Allah's voice softened as he spoke to his friend, "I haven't forgotten how great a leader you are my friend. It was always my intent to one day hand the power of command over to you...and I think that day has finally arrived."

"I am eternally indebted to you, Oh Great One. You have taught me so much...and all of that knowledge I will use to make heaven great again by first tearing down the walls and opening up heaven to tolerance and unity."

"You do whatever you feel is right...I have a fishing trip planned with an old friend, and we won't be coming back anytime soon."

*******

Mohammad, Lucifer and Jesus watched as the wall between the Christian and Muslim people in heaven was reduced to rubble by the power vested in the three new leaders. And, as the dust began to settle, a lone figure stood on the other side. Dust covered his face and arms, but a huge smile was all Mohammad could see as the two men approached each other over the ruins. And, as their hands clasped in friendship, the freedom the ghetto people had for so long sought, was now theirs.


The End...well almost.

********

My friend Dog is from the Disability Writers Group. She was the inspiration for me to write this story. Without her, there would be no Heavens-Above. So, thank you, Dog...a better friend would be hard to find.

And so, if Heavens Above was to be successful, I wrote an alternative ending, called 'How Far Can We Go', just for her, as a thank-you for her support throughout.

*******

How far can we go without getting shot by some religious fanatic at the book launch...which I have just pencilled in as the ending.

We are both gunned down by the nutter...I die in your arms saying something really profound and everyone cries, yourself included.

We say, "Love you" or whatever you feel is right for the scene.

I die...but you live on, only with even more disabilities.

I come back to haunt you because I'm pissed I never got to spend a cent of the royalties on hookers or cocaine, and you donate most of the proceeds to some worthwhile charity.

Then, you exorcise me...I get really angry, enter your body to give you some of that...and you throw yourself out the nearest window and die, killing my demon spirit along with yourself.

Well...you would have, but we were on the ground floor and only fell three feet.

But, you do land awkwardly, which causes my spirit back to go out...you feel sorry for me and we go
home together and live happily ever after.

Amen and The End.