The Monsters Know

Those disturbing thoughts no one will ever hear,
And all those mixed emotions cascading into one single fear,
They're monsters that are so atrocious,
Yet so fierce and precious and so ferocious.
They drag me down to the bitter deep,
And drown me when and when I'm not asleep.
I try to wrestle with them and beat them,
But will I ever be free?
Will I ever truly be me?
Those around me call me forgetful, rude, and lazy,
And sensitive, weird, and crazy,
But they don't know about my monsters.
So who are they,
To judge what I think and say?
The monsters fiddle with my mind,
Making me think that happiness I will never find.
It's getting dark inside my mind,
It's time for the monsters to be fed.
The blood trickles down my hands,
And with a "plop" on the water it lands.
The tears stream down my face,
While my thoughts 'round and 'round they pace.
I want to win...
I REALLY want to win.
But the monsters are here,
And they know what I most fear.
I'm screaming, I'm hollering, and I'm taking on my fear,
But the saddest thing is that no one seems to hear.
"Stop it!!!" I scream.
"This is all just a dream!!!"
But deep down I know it's reality
And that by the morning I'll just be one more fatality.
My soul slowly withers away,
Like the sun on a brisk, cold day.
These monsters have won.
They've finally won.
They tormented and tore me apart,
And shattered my soul and broke my heart.
Poor, gentle, innocent soul,
Slayed and slayed until no longer whole.
Dysfunctional and crazy,
Damaged and lazy,
Full of depression and anxiety,
But her struggles never seen by society.
That's when the monsters came,
To take society's blame.
Gone forever she is now,
Gone, too, are the monsters now.
Where's her mind and soul?
Where's her mind and soul?
The monsters...
They're the ones who know.