Held

Written in a mental hospital

1. My life holds
so much
suspense
yet its still
boring such,
a paradox

2.Sometimes I look
at the world
around
and I wonder
how I came to be
how we came to be
luminous beings
made of stardust
connected by galaxies
separated only
by this atmosphere

3. Rising, swelling
the wave creeps up
the anxiety
im drowning in
that ocean of
immeasurable depths
yet it appears
to be as shallow as
a
puddle

4.pages upon pages
of my thoughts, yet
to be shared they
are written plainly but
my emotions are still
foreign to me

5.Im tired, the
kind of bone
weary ache that
makes you long
for a soft bed

6.I cant breathe
huffing as the
panic closes my
throat, its claws
gripping me from
an unknown place
blended in the
shadows
hardly visible
yet it fills
my entire vision

7. grip myself harder
it might help the
panic from swelling
up
it never works but i
still
grip myself harder

8. please
i cant
take anymore
i
cant breathe

9. when i panic
the have me
swallow a
green and white
capsule filled with
calm
wonder whats in
it and
why my brain cant
produce it
is it
synthetic?