Bipolar and me

Bipolar and me. By B.D. ( based on my son's experiences)

I’m trapped inside but not with chains
But thoughts that cause me countless pains.
Like a rubber ball against a wall
They bounce around without control.
They hurl about, disturb my mind
With nagging fears and words unkind.
Images blurred or dark that last
Things from childhood or distant past.
Anxiety like a cloak bound tightly
Cause me to sweat daily, nightly.
Oh how I long to just be me.
The person I want all to see.
There was a time, not long ago
When I felt good, not sad or low.
So where Oh where is he today
Who used to sing and run and play?
I want to be that man once more
And wear the smile that I then wore.
Once in hospital , the psycho came
“Bipolar,” he said. But what’s in a name?
Does it really help me to know
I have symptoms, that will come and go?
‘Meds,’ they said is what is needed.
‘Don’t want them doc,’ is what I pleaded.
I took them anyway, just to please
And so my pain began to ease!
But when I stopped , it wasn’t the same,
And so I went downhill again!
Hospital wards are now the locus
All because I cannot focus.
Don’t be surprised if I can’t talk
When you take me out, go for a walk.
When I find it hard to speak
It’s all because I feel so weak.
I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be rude,
I just can’t help this awful mood.
I know I WILL shake off this fetter
And one day soon I WILL be better!
For now the battle that I’m facing
Is a merry-go-round with my mind racing.
Please, please be there to hold my hand,
So when I fall you’ll help me stand.
I simply need you as a friend,
Support me, love me till the end.
With all my woes and all my care,
Don’t try to fix them. Just be there!
Please don’t judge by my appearance
That you’re not me, is purely chance.
Bipolar ? Yes, it’s a disorder
But between you and me is a fine border.
One day. One day, I know it’s true
My heart and mind will be made new.
The prayers for me are not in vain
I will be well and sing again !!