Why the stars have left my eyes

I had somehow succeeded
in losing track of my existence
in a pandemic whilst studying three careers
in one
as I grew apart from my faith that I am holding on
to for dear life.

I'm stuck between drinking and partying and life as such and being a farm girl.

And all I want is clarity
of this catastrophe
exploding in me
as I smile and laugh at the foolish joke my brother had made
about my current liking of the Korean ethnicity.

It might be breaking my heart slightly but there's so little left of it he might as well carry on.

And I doubt I believe in "a love so strong..."
I've been in the company
of my parents for
too long.
-HP*