Let your potato grow
Water it monthly in Earth like soil
Become one with the potato
Keep it out of the reach of children
Become two potatoes if you must
Multiply them by ten then subtract
Watch TV with dip and chips
Become a couch potato
Sit
Protect spuds from direct sun light
Cradle them in the land of humanity
Dry them one by one
Bury them underground with trust
Make potatoes stay in one place
And not another
Rotate them frequently
Potatoes are alive
Rocks are not
Keep them in your pockets
Smother them with butter
Make your potatoes baked, boiled or fried
Lead them not into oil
Lead them not into temptation
Bring your potatoes to church
Don’t expect them to pray
They will not
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