Let me Scream

         I haven't found peace inside myself, in fact I haven't felt any type of purpose inside my mind to keep me going. I failed at my own tasks for the day just trying to get through the day. I haven't smiled once all day, in fact I lied more than usual today, keeping a front more than usual. I haven't been able to think of words to describe my misery, that I just keep using the same words. In fact I think I just used it again, with every passing word the pain makes it's return. As I would like to scream my pain, but fails because I know the world will hear my pain. A pain with a broken melody. A melody with no sound, as it has no intro or ending but an infinite tone that makes you wary of an unsettling feeling inside me. I see it in your face, you become aware of my melody and become afraid. Is it because you know me and is afraid how the world will change without me. No, those eyes already told me your judgement, you hate me for being different, you hate me for not trying to fix my problem, when the problems isn't me, but it's you and everyone else. There I go again making assumptions and blaming everything for this broken heart. Maybe the melody does have a sound, its a little droplet. The little pieces that have fallen from me, from night to day, to the earliest memory to lost memories. The melody is played, the infinite tone the world will hear once in my life time, a beautiful pain with a foreshadow of it's ending. Please stop these voices in my head, they keep playing over and over in my head. It's making me go crazy, in fact I am crazy and I accept it. Bring the melody back so I can scream so loud maybe someone will come save me. No, no, no, NO! You're the reason I'm dead inside please get away, My mind is maze, in fact..... Damn there I go again, repeating myself just like this entire thought. Just let me scream, please let me be, I'm the deepest part of you, the realist feature of you. I am you.