Part II

They were crawling farther and farther down and the tunnel kept getting more and more narrow. Unable to stand any longer, the brothers were crawling on their hands and knees through the tunnel, single file, on a mission to find the Birth Canal.
“Never in my life, man,” Joe grunted, as he pressed on with his elbows, to give his wrists a break. John followed suite, the first sign they weren’t the same little boys anymore.
“I can’t believe how big this place is.” John looked around in awe. “You could be down here for hours.”
“If you could breath that long,” Joe wiped the sweat from his face His arm was covered in mud, but so was his face and everything else. Everything was dusty but in the humidity, it quickly turned to mud. And everything seemed to be sweating. Even the walls.
“Unreal,” John ran his hands over the walls, picking up some of the muck on his fingertips. Like mud, only thicker and stickier. Like peanut butter. Nutty Putty. The name hid no secrets and yet, the cave seemed filled with them.
“HEEELLLLOOOO,” Joe yelled out. “Can ANYBODY HEAR ME?” John rolled his eyes. Some things never changed.
But he heard the echo created by such carved out emptiness. A hollowness that reverberated his voice into every hole; only some holes bounced it back immediately. Other were tunnels that swallowed it up and carried into places where no person should ever go. And yet, as Joe and John decide to separate to go their own ways, Joe would choose a hole that bounced him right back to safety. John, however, would choose a tunnel that went where no man should ever go.
“We’ll see what we can find an meet back where we find each other,” Joe said and John agreed.
“”Yell when you get scared,” John teased. But he only have heartedly meant it. Both brothers wanted to find the best spot. Or the best story. But as John looked back and shone his light at his baby brother, it was the first time John saw Joe as a grown man. Joe was no longer his little brother because Joe was no longer little. John may have went off and started a family on his own but he now saw that this would always be Joe’s home. Joe was a man now. That must be how their dad saw John now. They were adults now. Capable of making their own decisions.
John had the sudden urge to tell Joe how proud of him he was. How proud of the man he had become, he was. Joe had always unapologetically been himself. No one to impress. No fancy misgivings. Joe was what Joe was. & John, having moved to Virginia to pursue a medial degree, with a wife and two kids, admired Joe. For being happy and needing nothing except Joe.
John quickly turned away but he couldn't shake the feeling of how grateful he was to just be here. John knew how much these memories would mean to him when he got back home and how this weekend would be his only anchor to fun for a long time. His mind turned to exams. The new baby on the way. That would probably mean a bigger house. And lots of student debt. Which all translated to long hours and hard work establishing the practice. John was in for a lot of sleepless nights. Who knew when he would get another time like this with his brother. Soon the cycle would start for him.
When was the last time, John wondered. When did they last crawl out of a cave and into the real world forever. When was the last time.
And why.
Even if he thought about it forever, he would never remember. The last time the three of them went, or where they went. He knew they never crawled out thinking it would be the last time. There was no celebration. No warning. Nothing special. It just was. Until now. After all these years. Although John was starting to realize when he crawled out today, it would be the last time, again. The last time for a long time. Maybe the next time he got into a cave would be with his girls. And seeing as one wasn’t even borne yet, John had a feeling he wouldn’t be bak in a cave for a very long time once he crawled out today.
John watched Joe reach up into a hole and be immediately swallowed by the darkness of the tunnel. John the looked back the the tunnel they had just crawled out of, leading from the Big Slide. Immediately across from it should lead to the Birth Canal.
John turned his body 180 degrees from the tunnel leading out of the Big Slide and his eyes landed directly on a tunnel. Walking straight ahead, John crawled into the hole he believed would lead him into the Birth Canal; the tightest but most rewarding section of the cave. John reached the hole and placed both his hands in front of him and got down on his knees. The light on his head lit up nothing but darkness. Dark walls that were covered in dark dust, too narrow inside to catch any light. Ahead, his light illuminated the darkness as far as to see more darkness ahead.
With nowhere to go but straight, John began crawling.
The farther John got in the tunnel, the more constricted his body became. As the walls of the tunnel began closing in on him, John got from his knees to his stomach. From his wrists, to his elbows, to his fingertips. With nowhere to go but ahead. John kept pressing forward. Unable to look back, he thought he would reach a room that would allow him to turn around.
As the tunnel gets narrower and narrower, John must try and make himself smaller and smaller to navigate the difficult sections of the tunnel. Rocks are protruding, some sooth but some jagged that dig into his body as he wiggles by.
Inside the tunnel, John begins to feel confined. His breathing becomes more rapid which fuels his adrenaline and pushes him forward. He uses his fear to drive him further into the hot cave.
Yet, as scared as John is, he knows he hasn’t made it to the toughest part of the cave yet. He knew he would go from his knees to his belly. He knew he would push himself along with his hips and fingertips. He also knows, at the tights spot, he must put his arms directly above his head and slide through, arms first, using his stomach, hips, and toes to push as much as they can.
So John keeps vigorously crawling. Now he is convinced that he is in the elusive Birth Canal, so he keeps pushing himself to make it to the end. However, as the pressure builds in his body from being so confined in this tight tunnel, John begins to have second thoughts. Should he keep pushing forward? Or is he too big? How come none of the Park Administrators warned them about size. Can he crawl backwards? Can he use his fingertips to push himself back through backwards?
He pushed his doubts away quickly. It’s better to just wait until he reaches an opening and he can turn himself around safely.
His fingertips dig into the dirt until they are bloody as he thrusts himself forward as hard as he can. He uses all his other muscles to help propel him as much as he can. He’s sweating and its dripping into his eyes, making it are to see. And making it that much more important that he relies on his body to get him out.
John comes up to a rock that he believes is at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel abruptly ends beyond the rock but opens up below. Except John can;t see what it opens up into below because the entrance is too tight. The rock seems to be blocking the entrance into the Birth Canal room where he can turn around and release some of this pressure being compressed on his body.
John sees the rock as a pillar. One that represents the entrance to successful journey through mental and physical obstacles. A pillar that welcomes him through. John grabs it. Its the last physical obstacle he must overcome before he completes his journey and can head back to his family. He had had enough of this cave.
While the rock is all but blocking the entrance, John is determined, He grabs the rock and uses it to pull his body forward. He will be entering the Birth Canal head first, exactly like a baby. How fitting, he thinks. John tries to squeeze his way over the rock but he is too big. He takes a few deep breaths to stretch out his lungs and then one long deep inhale, as he constricts his chest a few inches and slides over the rock, with not a hair to spare. Once over, John exhales sharply and grows his chest back those few inches. John is now head down and using his arms to guide him, he crawls farther into the tunnel, bringing his legs with him.
Once John is upside down, almost completely erect, he realizes that there is no opening for him to turn around in. He's hit rock bottom.