06.21.2022

Why is it so hard to speak from the heart?

so many words catch behind my lips
the things I want to say ready to spill
things that I know should be so easy
but there's a wall I am
trapped
behind.
it's built like an hourglass
and I am the architect
but you,
you chose how much sand to put inside it
and I know,
I know,
at a predeterminate time
your sand will run out
and your mind will change
and your words will fade
and your ministrations will cease
and your attention will dissipate
and mine won't.
I'll still be in this thing,
still be growing this thing.
I'll have less attention on the hourglass.
I'll have gotten sloppy in my watch.
wooed into daily distractions and hopeful normalcy
and meanwhile the sand is fading...
it's nearly gone.
there was always an expiration date.
I just forgot.