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Rated: 13+ · Novel · Fantasy · #2295004
This is the 1st chapter of my high fantasy novel. Please provide constructive feedback!
ARTIFACT OF INTEREST

         Jace Riven was in his element, staring up at the crumbling walls of an ancient desert tower. He had a nimble grace about him that allowed him to ascend up the rough stone without breaking a sweat, despite the searing heat.
         The desert sun beat down as he surveyed the ruined tower before him, and his eyes narrowed slightly in concentration. He squinted at the crumbling structure, searching for signs of recent activity or decoration. He had grown up with stories of dragons and their hoards of treasure, and he had always dreamed of finding one for himself, even if just to study before selling it with the next tradesman he met.
         The walls of the tower were made of rough stone, weathered and pitted from centuries of exposure to the harsh desert elements. Large chunks of rock had fallen away, leaving gaping holes and jagged sandstone edges in their wake. Despite the damage, the tower still stood tall and imposing, its single spire reaching toward the cloudless afternoon sky. The entrance was a massive wooden door, now swollen with age and stubbornly refusing to budge. Unfortunately for Jace and his fellow hunters, none of the rough-edged and weathered holes created by time were big enough to allow entry, but they were plentiful enough for climbing.
         Jace was wiry, and stood at least half a foot taller than most of his tribesmen, though he lacked the bulk of their purely human muscle mass. His skin spoke of the desert, and his head was shaved per the tradition of most of the tribes of Creet. He had a chiseled jawline that hinted at his elven heritage, but his nose was more human-like, with a slight crook at the bridge. His almond-shaped eyes were a piercing blue below his arched eyebrows that, together, gave him an expression of perpetual curiousness.
         His lean physique was hidden slightly by the tan-colored, lightweight, loose-fitting linen robe he wore. It flowed around below his torso as he moved, but was tight enough above to not hinder his climbing. His similarly colored tunic and dark brown plants meshed well with the surrounding desert biome.
         As he scanned the tower's exterior, he could see signs of intricate carvings and patterns etched into the stone, long faded and worn away by time.
         Unreadable, but beautiful.
         “Are you sure you want to do that? As sturdy as the door is, I doubt the remainder of this tower’s structure is stable by comparison,” Kael offered to Jace as he prepared to climb.
         His companions, Rynn and Kael Killian, had accompanied him on today’s hunt.
         Jace didn’t respond, and began clambering up the wall anyway, his fingers finding purchase in the rough stones until he reached the tower's third floor. He would normally have gone in from the first floor, as would anyone who had ever used a door before, but the door seemed not to budge even after all three of them shoved themselves against it, and the second floor was devoid of any openings at all. This was not normally an issue when entering old ruins such as this, but having been in dozens of these structures, he was certainly aware that some doors are made with more quality than others, much to the dismay of his now-bruised shoulder.
         Before entering the tower, he took a moment. The desert landscape spread out behind him and past the horizon, a vast expanse of shimmering dunes and rocky outcroppings stretching outside of his view. Despite the harsh conditions, there was a certain splendor in the rugged terrain, with the occasional flash of vibrant color from a hardy desert flower or cactus. As he continued his ascent, his eyes lingered on the panoramic vista before him, savoring the fleeting moments of peace and tranquility that came with being so high above the fray.
         Time to go to work. He thought.
         He hopped into the window sill and scanned the room, searching for any signs of treasure. His eyes roamed over the piles of rubble, the broken stone pillars, and the crumbling arches. He knew that he was looking for something that might have been hidden for centuries, and he couldn't help but feel a thrill of excitement at the possibility of finding something truly rare, if not at least valuable. As he made his way to a corner of the room, he noticed a loose stone in the wall. With little effort, he reached out and pushed it aside, revealing a small alcove. He leaned in and squinted, trying to see what lay hidden inside.
         Rynn's sing-song voice called up from below, "Hey, what do you see up there?"
         He turned and peered over the window he had just climbed through.
         "Just some old scrolls and broken pottery," he called back. "I think there's another room, though."
         Rynn's excitement was evident in her simple, yet enthusiastic response, "Gold?!"
         Jace chuckled at her and, intrigued at the very proposition, he stepped closer to investigate. As his hands rested on the wall, the bricks began to give. Jace yelped, only to get the wind knocked out of him as gravity took him and the wall through the floor and below the decrepit ruins. A dark cloud of dust and rock surrounded him as he fell, and his world went black.

***


         Jace's eyes fluttered open, and he groaned as he realized that he was lying on bricks and stone, staring up at what used to be several intact floors. He tried to sit up, but his body protested with a sharp jolt of pain. He winced, then took stock of his surroundings. He found himself in a desolate cavern, its walls and ceiling rugged and uneven, illuminated only by a faint glimmer of light seeping through a small crevice overhead. Gradually acclimating to the dimness, he pulled himself up into a seated posture, letting his back rest against the chill stone wall.
         It was at that moment that Kael's voice ripped inside his mind.
         Jace! Can you hear me?
         Kael's telepathy had come in handy several times before but had mostly been used during the odd prank or card game. His mind's voice sounded urgent and frantic, and Jace could feel his friend's concern reverberating in his head. Jace tried to acknowledge him out loud, but his tongue felt heavy and unresponsive. Panic began to set in as he realized that something was wrong, and he was struggling to focus his thoughts.
         It took a few moments for his mind to clear, and he managed to respond shakily, "Kael? What happened? Where am I?" His voice sounded weak and hoarse, and he wondered how long he had been out. He knew he didn’t need to speak out loud for Kael to hear him, but he always found it more comfortable to have at least one part of the conversation said out loud.
         Jace himself was a sorcerer - an elementalist, specifically. His innate magical hold of all things related to lightning allowed him to do creative things, from sensing the presence of others, heating metals enough to melt them, and even shooting lightning from his fingertips. The damage itself started as minimal, as Kael, unfortunately, found out due to accidentally walking between Jace and a targeted cactus, but the more he practiced, the more Jace realized it was now an effective means of combatting raiders and ne’er-do-well tribes. Unfortunately for him, none of his magic could assist with a broken leg or getting out of this mess.
         “I…I think my leg is broken.” Jace breathed in and winced as he shifted his right ankle to make sure, pain erupting through his entire leg.
         Kael's response was swift.
         You fell through the floor, and we can't see you. Rynn and I are trying to find a way down to you, but we need you to stay calm and stay with us.
         Jace took another deep breath, trying to push away the fear and pain that threatened to overwhelm him and focused on his breathing.
         What do you have on you?
         Jace reached for his pack, which was thankfully still tied around his waist. He took inventory with his hands before responding, "Just the normal kit. A few o’kar bottles, my water flask, those snake jerky rations we got yesterday, and my chiseling kit."
         He silently cursed himself for forgetting to pack the rope he had bought along with the snake rations but pushed it out of his mind as he sat up, shaking slightly from the effort of stretching his bad leg.
         Okay. Rynn is running back to camp to grab that rope you bought. We'll lower it down to you, and you can tie it around your waist…I think I can lift you.
         Kael paused before continuing.
         …and do not drink an o’kar bottle until we get you out of there. If that leg sets incorrectly, we’ll have to break it again to fix it.
         Jace nodded to himself, feeling a sense of relief wash over him. One of Kael’s powers allowed him to move things with his mind, though usually, the weight of heavier items makes him as tired as though he did use his hands. Kael could pull with his mind, and Rynn would use the rope.
         After ensuring his stability, Jace began looking around the chamber he had fallen into. The small amount of light filtering through the hole in the ceiling didn't offer much illumination, but it was enough.
         The chamber had high ceilings and smooth, gray stone walls. The air was damp and musty, with a faint smell of mildew permeating the space. The room was sparsely furnished, with only a few pieces of furniture scattered about, including a wooden table and a few chairs. The table was covered with dust and cobwebs. In the center of the chamber was a circular opening in the floor, leading down to an unknown depth. The edges of the opening were jagged and uneven, suggesting that it was not deliberately made but rather a natural feature of the chamber.
         As he scanned the room, he noticed a small alcove in the far corner. Curiosity piqued, and with the understanding that solid stone is usually much sturdier than planks and two-hundred-year-old bricks, he stood on his good leg and slowly made his way over to investigate, using the wall for support as he limped.
         The alcove was filled with an array of black-and-white glowing symbols that he couldn't quite make sense of. They seemed familiar somehow and pulsed with a faint energy that made his skin tingle. He reached out tentatively, his fingers hovering just inches from the symbols before he saw it.
         There was a small orb sitting in the center of the alcove, resting on a perfectly round and concave-tipped pillar. It was similar in size to one’s fist and was filled with a luminous smoke that emitted an ethereal radiance. The smoke inside seemed to shift and change before his eyes, from deep blues to vibrant purples and back again. His hand trembled as he reached out to touch it, drawn to its strange beauty despite a deep sense of unease in his gut. Just as his fingertips brushed the surface, the orb suddenly pulsed, immediately changing to two colors of smoke, split down the middle. A deep black half-circle contrasted against a pure, pearly white half. The smoke was still shifting, but the colors stayed on their respective sides of the orb.
         He grabbed it.
         The orb itself was light as air but felt almost chilled to the touch. He took a step back from the alcove, his eyes still fixed on the strange object in his hands. Just then, Kael's voice echoed in his head.
         Rynn's back with the rope. We're going to get you out of there.
         Jace nodded, acknowledging Kael's warning, but fearful his eyes would give him away. What it was, it seemed to be calling to him, urging him to do...something. He shook his head, trying to focus on the task at hand. Being lifted several stories was no small matter for anyone involved, but staying here was not an option.
         He took a deep breath and looked up at the rope dangling from above. Slowly and carefully, he tied the rope under his arms, pulling himself up with his core as he struggled to put weight on his injured leg.
         Okay. I’ll be applying my pull to the rope section around you.
         He felt the rope around his waist immediately tighten from some invisible force, and heard Rynn grunt as she began pulling.
         The pressure of the rope somewhat stopped blood flow to his arms, and his muscles protested with each movement, but finally, after what felt like an eternity, he reached the top and pulled himself up onto the floor. The pressure from the rope disappeared as Kael released the magic. Exhausted and in pain, Jace lay there for a moment, catching his breath.
         Rynn leaned over and gave him a quick touch to his head, before punching his shoulder and sternly stating, "If you ever scare us like that again I'll throw you back down there myself!" Kael, ever amused with his sister’s threats, laughed as he caught his own breath, and began checking Jace’s ankle.
         “It’s broken,” Kael commented. “I’m going to set it…brace yourself.”
         He drew a short breath as Kael hurriedly tugged his foot, shifting it to the correct position. He cried out in pain as Kael tied his leg in a splint from the knee down, using one of the nearby broken planks, and then grabbed an o’kar bottle from his pack.
         “You should be good to take it now,” said Kael as he double-checked his work.
         Jace nodded and then downed the potion in one chug. Immediately, his whole body began to warm up. A gradual sense of relief flowed out from his core, and he saw small red sparks fly out, emanating from his now swollen ankle. He watched as his ankle rapidly returned to normal size, and clenched his teeth as he heard and felt a few pops as the bones reconnected.
         As the sparks died down, he extended his leg, testing it out. The dull ache of well-worked muscles was there, but the majority of the pain was gone. He sighed with relief and used Kael’s outstretched arm and his now two good legs to stand up.
         "Quickly," Kael said, "let's go home. This is the last ruin in this area anyway, so we'll need rest to begin traveling again tomorrow. The riches of Prii wait for no one!"
         Jace smiled weakly at his companions, grateful for their humor. With their help, he made his way out of the ruin and into the cool evening air. The sunset was a brilliant display of oranges and pinks, casting long shadows across the land. As they walked, Jace couldn't help but glance at his pack. His curiosity tugged at him, and he couldn't shake the feeling there was definitely more to the orb than meets the eye.
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