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by MF
Rated: E · Article · Self Help · #2303251
Handling the intrusive and unwanted thoughts in your mind.
Obsession is a persisting disturbing and unwanted thought which overwhelms the feelings and rational thought of a person.
This may also be called obsessive compulsive disorder or OCD which features a pattern of unwanted thoughts and fears called obsessions that lead you to do repetitive behaviours which are called compulsions. These can interfere with the daily life and cause significant distress.
If you find yourself thinking that you've found love, relate it to obsession.
Love trusts, obsession is jealousy and insecurity.
Love gives you freedom, obsession wants to possess you.
Love is free and wants to share. Obsession is clingy.
Love gives. Obsession needs.
Love wants the best for you. Obsession just wants you.
Do not neglect your tasks, give boundaries, recurrent fantasies about a person, accept that no means no, stop smothering the other person, don't violate the other person's boundaries. In love, little possessiveness is natural, and the sharing of fantasies. It will only get unhealthy if you start neglecting yourself. Love is a strong sense of fondness, whereas obsession is overflowing with thoughts only about the person. Love can turn into obsession which can turn into erotomania which is the resolute and delusional thought which makes you believe that other people who may be of higher status are in love with you.
Real love focuses on not just the fantasies, but also the independence of each other and willingness to grow and reach future goals.

If you do love but also suffer from obsession, give your partner time for their own personal needs. Do not disturb them, give them boundaries, independence and honesty. Be vulnerable, compromise and respect.
If you think your partner has an obsession LET THEM KNOW IMMEDIATELY! If it bothers you, speak about it. Do not speak to other people, it is you and your partner's problem. Do not let your partner have their own doubts without revealing your full honesty otherwise it may turn unhealthy for the both of you in the future with each other and with future relationships.

However, this doesn't always necessarily relate to love, but rather to the general life of a person.
How may a person with obsessions and compulsions live their daily lives?
Ignoring these thoughts may lead you to think about them more and perform the actions to ease the stress. This starts a loop in your head which may add on to your behaviour. Common fears include massive doubts about doing acts, and unwanted thoughts around various topics. Engaging in compulsions brings no pleasure and may be a temporary relief to anxiety.
Stressful live events may trigger intrusive thoughts, and a person may need constant reassurance and support. Women may have OCD when they are pregnant and keep wondering about their baby when they're born.
OCD can share a struggle in your daily life. Whether it's constantly washing your hands or constantly having to check on something it may also be a form of trying to find perfection. A person in a relationship may have multiple doubts about their partner and if it is not directly spoken to them, it will cause a conflict with their head. We all may suffer from doubts, but for a person who suffers from this case, it may be detrimental and goes from a day-to-day life.
Common obsessions may include fears that you may not be good enough for your partner and second guessing their love for you.
Common compulsions may include obsessive questioning, constant research on something to find more information on how to treat it or what they like. Comparisons, whether it's comparing it to yourself or speaking to your friends about it. Endless reflection and seeking passion and excitements.
It is important to note that this disorder is common, and you will feel its symptoms at times, and it can happen at any instance in your life. Seeking support and reassurance from people you love may be a need. Your support and understanding may be a big factor to helping someone who suffers from this issue.
Being Open with OCD
Your loved one may find it difficult to speak about their obsessions with the worry about your reaction. Making a person feel safe is a key trait and making sure to calm them down is better.
Being patient. Remember that their fears may be real to them even if they may seem irrational to you.
Don't judge. It can be upsetting to hear about some thoughts, but if you act shocked it may make a person not reveal any more thoughts or feelings with you. Make it clear that you love and support them.
It is not so hard to deal with a person with OCD as it's not so serious at times but keeping them accommodated may help a lot. Offering reassurance is another.
The treatment for OCD, goes away naturally, or diminishes. We all have a form of OCD; you can live life normally. There isn't much to do to OCD but to offer a warm cuddle and hug. To offer a warm love where both of you feel safe meeting each other's needs. People with this may feel weak, but the only way you can fix it is by working on yourself and keeping yourself distracted.
If you suspect yourself or someone you love suffering from OCD, let them know and show care to respect them and make them feel safe around you. Having someone safe to spend your time with may be a great solution to diminishing the thoughts.
OCD may be treated with cognitive therapy or normally speaking to someone, it can stem from anxiety, depression, and the personality type of being perfectionistic. It may also stem from biology or from a genetic side. Do not ever let your obsessions lead you to destroy yourself or others. Never!
Getting over a specific obsession
Working on yourself and finding boosts of self-esteem like a special hobby. Speaking out to people you love. Most importantly, you can start refocusing your thoughts:
Get some distance from the source of your obsession. Being in proximity would trigger you, therefore staying physically away would help you
Stop feeding into your obsession. In order to break it, starve it. Battle your brain to not feed into anything near it until it becomes useless over time.
Focus on things you've neglected. Stay on top of your work, repairing other relationships, pursue new interests, make changes into your routine, get new habits, distract yourself at the time you find your thoughts overwhelming you the most. Makeover your life, get a different hairstyle, change your personal appearance, do something better for your body. Go to different hangout spots. Make an effort to help yourself.

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