Conversation with a skeleton

Words 497

‘Jeez! Mary! Who left this skeleton in the linen closet?’

‘It’s okay, John. I picked it up from the charity shop. I thought it would be great for my grade two students to learn about the human body.’

‘’You could have warned me. I nearly had a heart attack.’

‘It’ll be gone tomorrow. Just close the closet door.’


‘Psst, has she gone?’

‘What the…?’

‘It’s just me. Better keep your voice down, Mary will think you’re talking to yourself.’

‘Well, I must be. A skeleton can’t talk.’

’‘But that’s where your wrong see, cos today I can because it’s Halloween.’

‘Bah, to Halloween!’

‘You’re not a fan?’

‘It’s all a load of hype. Goblins, witches and ghosts. It’s ridiculous!’

‘Err, can I just remind you who you’re talking to?’

‘Oh. Yeah, you’re a walking, talking, bag of bones.’

‘Yeah, that’s correct, John. You wouldn’t really begrudge me my one day in the year when I can express my true feelings. Would you?’

‘But you’re expecting me to start believing in something I’ve hated all my life. Give me one good reason why I should jump on the Halloween bandwagon now.’

‘I’ll do better than that, John. I’ll give you lots of reasons. First, if you don’t mind me saying, you’re a bit uptight, aren’t you?’

‘Me? I’m as loose as a goose.’

‘Don’t give me that, John. Come on man, let yourself go. Halloween is the perfect excuse. No one will think you’re being childish when you dress up as Freddie Kruger or as a Zombie. Just imagine your grandchildren’s faces lighting up when they see ‘Pop’ having fun.’

‘Freddie Kruger?’

‘Okay, that might be stretching it a bit too far, but just imagine not being staid, sensible, John Smith. Just for an hour or so.’

‘The little ones would enjoy having me take them trick or treating, I suppose.’

‘Just think of all that candy. I can see by your, ahem, figure, you’re partial to a little something sweet.’

‘Oh, that’s Mary’s weakness I’m afraid, not mine.’

‘Mm, if you say so. Okay then how about using All Hallows Eve as an excuse to put your feet up and binge watch a few gory movies?’

‘Well, it’s almost impossible to watch anything else. But Mary might like the company for a change. She always says I’m a spoil sport. A bit grumpy even!’

‘There you go then. Show her you’ve still got a bit of the young, fun, John she married. How many years ago now?’

‘Quite a few. Hard to keep track.’

‘I used to have a wife John, a long time ago. I wasn’t always this fascinating, intricate structure you see before you, propped in this closet.
No, I was a breathing living man but like every living thing I died.’

‘Sorry, mate. I shouldn’t have been so insensitive. I’ve enjoyed chatting with you. I’ll ask Mary to bring you back next year, we’ll continue catching up.’

‘Enjoy Halloween, John. See you next year.’



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