Business As Usual

Rudy's seen it all, and none of it really surprises him anymore

"Empty the drawer!"

Rudy looked at the man with the gun, nonplussed. He had been robbed three times in two months, and he was over it. He was about to protest when the door tinkled open. The robber slipped into the back room, the muzzle of his .38 still visible.

"Just pretend I'm not here, mister," the man muttered.

Rudy sighed. These idiots were—

At the counter, he found himself looking down a .44 magnum.

"The money! All of it!"

Rudy couldn't help but laugh. "I can't give you any money! Somebody else is already stealing it!"

As if on cue the first robber emerged, took one look at the second and hollered: "Gumbo! You git, now, this is my score!"

"Gumbo" looked at him in surprise. His gun wavered, and the hammer fell with a dry click—empty. "Tinker, you almost got shot!"

"I was here first!" Tinker persisted.

Gumbo reached across the counter suddenly, trying the register. Rudy laughed when Tinker slapped Gumbo's hand, who pulled back like he'd been caught in the cookie jar. Tinker lunged across the counter, pushing Gumbo toward the door. "Git outta here, y'old drunk!"

The men tussled, pulling at each other's masks, weapons forgotten. Pressing the silent alarm, Rudy watched and chuckled.

The police arrived quickly, each grabbing a criminal and restraining them easily. The two men continued squabbling until the female officer hollered: "Knock it off!"

The two would-be robbers looked at her. She looked back at them with the disdain and disappointment of a mother with two rivaling brothers.

The two were bustled out the door, and Rudy laughed as he heard them plead in unison: "He started it!"

He was still chuckling five minutes later as he sold a pack of cigarettes to Mrs. Jablonski.

Just business as usual.

NOTES: ▼

Word Count: 300
Submitted for
"Daily Flash Fiction Challenge"