It's Hard Being in A Society

For people who get mixed up into who they are; easily swayed from how other people live.

Took me too unfamiliar places,
saw unfamiliar faces.
Put me on stages.
I made spaces for people,
tried so hard to put them in their places.
Nothing seemed to make me happy.
Always finding negativity surrounding me all the time,
couldn't get any me time or even downtime.
Tried so hard to stay in the line,
but guess I wasn't fine.
Stuck out like a sore thumb,
looked kinda dumb.
Where's the life I want?
Why does it feel beneath me?
Swaying into all sorts of directions like a carousel.
Thoughts always spiral.
Pleasing people seems like the only solution.
Mixing in with these weird concoctions of people.
My values seem like their right in front of me,
why aren't I content, can't just be?
Always looking for diversity, for new things,
but it always gets me in trouble.
Thought you could only have fun if you're a rebel.
I stumble.
Just want a firm foundation of what I believe in,
but get to wrapped in of what others want from me,
Believe in what only they see.
Need some air,
It's time for me to sit back in my own lair.
I really want to be trusted and viewed as the grown woman,
my family sees me to be, but the quilt is looking roughly woven.
Will I get a chance to restart?
I don't know for sure, but sweet can turn from somewhat tart.
I hope the confidence comes in quick,
I've really felt sick.
I can come up with good things, don't need to follow societal standards or
random people's opinions.
I'm a good girl and I can find salvation.
I'm nice and don't need peoples spice to add onto me,
they won't shape me into who I know, down to my core, I am.