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Rated: 13+ · Letter/Memo · Comedy · #701639
A complaint letter written to Fate & Destiny.
Dear Fate and Destiny,

         I would like to take a moment to express my sincere dissatisfaction over the fact you have joined forces in the task of paving my road in life. Furthermore, I would also like to inform you I will be placing a formal complaint and recommendation for a serious review of your work thus far.

         My feelings and words at the moment may seem harsh, but I will briefly explain. Since you are obviously not spending your time in the needed maintenance of my road, I feel you have the time to hear me out.

         Since leaving my mother's home at eighteen I have, twice mind you, fallen into cracks so wide and deep they could have been fatal to a weakened woman. I am young and strong thus was able to hold on by my fingernails alone. With much effort, sweat, and tears I was able to claw my way back to level ground. Twice was enough to teach me a lesson. I now watch for the potentially deadly cracks in the road and jump over them when approached.

         It is fact that my road is quite straight, narrow and the scenery leaves much to be desired. Because of your lack of imagination I have found myself drifting with many daydreams that occupy my time. These daydreams at times become very detailed thus distracting me from the road ahead. I regret to admit, due to this problem, I have fallen in potholes too many to count. On more than one occasion I have severely scraped my knees and palms trying to break my fall.

         At first when this happened I would sit and cry feeling woefully sorry for myself. Upon my last tripping episode I found myself sitting for what seemed like days watching the blood trickle slowly down my legs and arms to drop silently onto the ground below. I'm happy to report I've done a lot of thinking and have decided to rise to my feet once again.

         My road on occasion has been paved through great mountains. This would not be a problem if you had considered adding a bit of lighting. Instead I was forced to crawl on hand and knees to avoid another fall. The darkness made me very sleepy, forcing me to take long naps. Losing touch with reality was not an uncommon event while wandering down my darkened road. These problems compounded making my re-entry into the light a painful process.

I have now reached the root of my problem, and ask you to listen closely. Both of you!

         I became focused on my road ahead, not allowing myself to daydream anymore. At this point, I should officially be deemed an expert when it comes to dodging potholes and jumping fatal cracks in the road. Training sessions can be arranged if you like, I would be more than willing to head them. Unfortunately, I am disappointed to find my road has simply ended. I now stand looking over a great canyon.

Did you forget to build a bridge?


         At first, I was tempted to put in my letter of complaint, a demand that the bridge be built immediately. After careful consideration of your track record, I have strongly decided against it.

         I would like to paint a picture for you of my current situation. At this moment I am sitting on the edge of the canyon, a light breeze is blowing to ease my suffering from the extreme heat. My feet and legs are hanging over the side and I am joyfully kicking them, as a child would while sitting in a chair much too large for their little legs. I'm saddened to say one of my shoes has fallen off my foot and to the ground far below. I will expect it to be replaced. Believe me, this is the least you both can do for me. I'm taking brief moments to pause in my writing of this letter to admire the magnificent birds soaring overhead. They dip and dive into the canyon only to return and allow the wind to carry them effortlessly. When I finish writing this letter, I will fold it respectfully, and throw it over the edge. From there I have no doubt Mother Nature will deliver it promptly.

         I am undecided as to my next course of action. My choices are many, as I seem to have my entire life ahead of me and nowhere at the moment to go(no pun intended). I may sit here, where I am quite comfortable, and wait for the birds to drop enough seeds to grow me a forest. At that point I will simply find a way to build my own bridge. My road from there will have to be paved by no other than myself. I no longer feel you are willing, or capable of doing your job adequately.

         My more appealing option is to grab onto one of the great birds I see. I will wait patiently until his talons dig painfully into my shoulder when he takes hold. To soar over this barren land with one of these majestic birds will be worth the pain inflicted. Such a complete contrast from the bruises, cuts, and scars I have attained from walking your carelessly paved road.

         Whatever my choice, I'll end this letter now as I see the birds are drawing near. If I decide to fly with them, I wouldn't want to miss my chance. It is regretful I must end our business relationship on such a sour note. May you heed my words and learn from your mistakes.

Signed,

A Very Disappointed Traveler
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