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Trying out a new form of poetry

This is a poem in the style of Senryu (R/T Haiku). It's my first try with the form, so please review.


See thick, dark red blood;
Can you sense the pain of such release?
Can you feel the sting
Of such aggravating grief?
Scars will let you know,
Punishment went well;
With the burning sensation
To make it feel more like hell.